時間與非時間 Part L

 

時間與非時間

是一個想法。一切都在變化：我們年輕，我們變老，我們死去;季節週期;這一天即將結束。但現在不是時候;時間本身實際上是一個想法。當我們變得自我意識並認同一個可以改變的身體時，我們就會接受這個想法。這並不是說，如果我們不變得自我意識，事情就不會改變，而是說我們不抱有時間的想法，所以變化的概念不存在，我們也不執著於事物保持不變。22 由於心靈的二元結構，哪裡有時間的概念，哪裡也總是有非時間的概念。23

大多數人對這對夫婦的一方比另一方更緊密地認同。認同程度決定了行為，它們的組合構成了特定個性的基礎。例如，一個人可能被認定為沒有時間，這可能表現為他們覺得自己永遠沒有足夠的時間。他們可能會感到受日程安排的擺布;這是一個已經變成一場正在進行的戲劇的問題，並且似乎正在運行它們，儘管他們是制定時程表的人。

這與只是忙碌並需要重新安排日程安排的人不同。被認同為非時間更收費。時間似乎是一個敵人，惡毒而失控。如果你經常戲劇化缺乏時間，並感到自己是受害者，那麼你可能被認定為不合時宜。然而，這裡描述的是一個極端;非時間通常表現為對時間更微妙的焦慮和想法。

如果你認同時間，而不是非時間，它可能會表現為你擁有世界上所有時間的感覺。你可能永遠無法完成很多工作，因為時間似乎在向前延伸，沒有什麼是緊急的。它可能會讓你周圍的人因你悠閒的態度而發瘋。您可能會遲到，或者直到為時已晚才開始處理事情。這既是一種戲劇化，也是一種對非時間的認同，兩者都是想法，而不是現實。

時間/非時間的基本態度在它之上產生了更多的表面態度，影響最隨意的行為以及深刻的、固定的模式或人格特徵。



空間和非空間 就像時間一樣，空間及其對立面，即非空間

，一旦對現實產生阻力，就會被接管。這也是一個想法。當你否認情緒的身體感覺時，它就固定在身體中，因此你與身體認同。

隨著對身體的認同，我們不可避免地也會產生一種想法，即在其推論中，即非空間。這再次以具體的方式體現在人們的生活中。認同空間的人可能會佔用大量空間，或者他們可能會給人留下這樣做的印象。他們戲劇化空間以傳達資訊。一個在“空間”中表演的人可能會以這種態度說，聽我說，或者我在這裡，或者不要把我推開。

另一方面，認同un-space的人可能會戲劇化這一點，認為他們不佔用水療中心。CE和實際上並不存在。他們可能會有一種飄逸的感覺，給人一種難以確定的印象。它們可能看起來相當無形和空靈，並盡量不佔用太多空間，並且以一種傾向於在空間上將自己從情境中抹去的方式行事。他們可能難以在生活中佔用適當的空間。這種行為實際上是向他人傳達的資訊，即他們正在以空間或非空間的方式行事。也許是基於這樣一種想法，即如果他們不佔用任何空間，如果沒有人能真正看到他們，那麼他們就不會錯，也不能被告誡。

品質和非品質 這是品質

的概念;它與物質不同。兩者很容易混淆。物質是事物的現實;它是實際的硬東西本身，可以觸摸並具有重量。另一方面，品質或重量是物質或事物的概念。當我們被認同為身體時，我們接受了這個想法。無論如何，有一個身體，但後來我們被它認同了;我們以為我們實際上是身體。我們四處走動，認為這是我的身體，就是“我”。所以我們認同品質，這是物質的概念。當我們接受質量時，我們同時接受了它的對立面，非質量。

如果你認同品質，你可能會有一個相當沉重的存在，並且在你的生活方式中是身體的。您可能更喜歡在身體上解決



爭論或身體上表達愛意。它可能看起來像是對空間的認同，但有一種不同的、更粗俗的感覺。

對非大眾的認同可能看起來像是不接地氣的，例如對身體的厭惡表現為更喜歡從事非身體活動和否認身體的做法。它可能看起來很像非空格。對非質量的認同，對不是身體的認同，可能表現在這樣一種想法中，即你不能被推來推去，因為你沒有質量，沒有重量。如果一個人不能被推來推去，至少在他們自己對事物如何的看法中，因為他們被認定為非品質或不體重，那麼他們可能會有一種想法，即他們不能被可能想要推動他們的人控制。

所有的戲劇化都有一個目的，講述一個故事。在這種戲劇化中，這意味著他們不能被拋棄;這是一種控制關係的方式。他們也可以依附於人們，認為他們不能被推開，因為他們沒有群眾可以推動。沒有重量的東西怎麼能被推來推去或推開？這是一個好主意。雖然這隻是一個想法，但它很強大，人們會根據這樣的故事採取行動。如果你問大多數人是否相信這一點，他們會堅持認為他們沒有這樣的想法。然而，在基本情況下，人們認同這些想法，但它們是如此基本，以至於如果沒有相當的正念專注，幾乎不可能欣賞這些想法。一個人可能真的表現得像他們不能被推開，因為這就是他們對事物如何運作的想法是如何建立的。這些例子說明瞭某人如何使用大眾或非大眾的概念來控制關係，但與他人保持聯繫。

能源和UN-能源能源和UN-Energy

是第四對。如果你被認定為沒有精力，你可能一瘸一拐，無精打采，沒有太多的起床和精力。鰻魚一直很累。這將有身體表現，但首先肯定是一種心理狀態。這並不是說所有的疲倦和無精打采最初都是精神狀態，儘管伯納確信大多數都是。24



在兩人的另一邊，一個認同能量的人可能看起來充滿活力，充滿想法和力量，但這也是一種心理結構。這種能量不是直接來自他們的真實身份。真正的個體與能量的態度不一致，因為它是一個想法而不是真實的，所以能量會在某種程度上被強迫，不一定容易流動。一個人可能與他們的生命力有著非常真實的聯繫，但是當它成為一種身份而不是一種自然的表達時，它就不會感覺很真實，可能會動搖。它有一個與之相關的現實，但心理建構，對存在基本狀態的認同，是一種觀念和戲劇化。

例如，職業足球運動員可能會遇到這種情況。他們可能在生命早期就與自己的能量有著自然的一致性，這被利用到踢足球的過程中，他們成為了一名明星球員。但隨後，他們越來越多地在媒體、遇到的人的反應和自己的自我意識中體驗到自己被物化。他們可能不再來自他們是誰，而是來自這個有天賦和精力的明星球員的想法，它不再非常真實。

第五級總結

總的來說，這些存在的基本狀態將彼此並排運行，並在點上相交。非能量可能與非品質一起工作，兩者都表現為無精打采，但它們的特徵略有不同。這些想法及其相關行為可能看起來太複雜而無法操作我們，但它們確實如此。人們參與其中是有原因的。他們以複雜的思維和行為方式迷戀自己，因為這是他們為了保持聯繫但感到安全所能做的一切。這似乎是一個生存問題。



第六層次：心智的核心，存在/不存在 心智的核心是第一個決定，成為某人的決定。這是“我是”或存在的基本狀態，以及它的對立面。這也是社交的開始。

存在“看起來幾乎不像是一種態度，但它仍然是一種想法，並以任何其他想法的方式運作。它是在思想中體現出來的個人。這個想法是如此根深蒂固



，以至於它與其他想法一起被更恰當地描述為一種基本的存在狀態。

這似乎很荒謬，因為對我們大多數人來說，我們確實存在是不言而喻的，這不僅僅是一個想法。但問題是，我們將存在的事實與我們存在的概念混為一談。在心智產生的時候，我們誤解了發生的事情，並開始認同我們自己存在的想法。我們無法認同我們存在的事實，因為我們只是存在。我們認同它的想法。這是“我”或“我是”，標誌著心靈的第一刻。

在退縮從另一個我們類比最終從一個新的角度認識我們自己。我們第一次成為“我”或“我”，與他人相關。當然，我們已經存在了，所以從那個點開始的不是我們的存在，而是我們自己的想法。從某種意義上說，自從我們進入時間和空間以來，我們確實在那個點開始存在。在時間和空間之外，談論存在與否是沒有意義的。從這一點開始，我們為自己和周圍的世界賦予意義。這是學習順應社會生活壓力的過程的一部分。

神學家伯克利主教（Bishop Berkeley，1685-1753）提出了一個難題，這個難題後來擴展為現在著名的問題：如果一棵樹倒在森林裡，沒有人聽到它的聲音，它會發出聲音嗎？言下之意是，除非聽到聲音，否則聲音不會以任何有意義的方式發生。

一旦存在和不存在的這個層次被成功地處理出來，一個人就會從心中獲得自由。他們將不再被自己的機制所束縛，無法理解和分類周圍的世界，而是可以自由地有意識地思考他們選擇。


心靈

的四種功能 像任何組織一樣，心靈有一種官僚主義，使它作為一個綜合系統運行。它具有充當其他內容的過濾器和召集人的內容。更深層次的態度是其他不太固定的想法的組織點。就這些行為或功能而言，大腦可以分為四個活動領域：記憶，分析，


決策和個性/自我。




1.記憶 你的記憶

是一個怪物;你忘了——它沒有。它只是把東西歸檔;它為你保留東西，或者對你隱藏東西。你的記憶以自己的意志召喚你回憶的事情。你以為你有一個記憶，但你的記憶有你！25
在我們看來，記憶當然像一個有自己意志的怪物，緊緊抓住不受歡迎的回憶
，用它們嘮叨我們。但是，事實上，實際上正在提供一種特定而有用的功能。

記憶包括1）一個人積累的所有記憶以及2）記憶它們的機制，它本身由記憶組成。

記憶保存在大腦中，也保存在頭腦中。但是，它們因不同的原因和不同的方式在每個地方舉行。

大腦中的記憶會在一段時間后消失;它們被保存在物理大腦的迴路中，沒有真正的意義。它們與身體的其他部分一起會解體。

大腦與大腦相互作用，來自感官的信息進入大腦，然後進入大腦，大腦對數據進行分類。然後，大腦通知大腦，而大腦又通知感覺器官。因此，在某種程度上，大腦和頭腦中的記憶內容是相同的，因為大腦正在向大腦提供資訊。但大腦中的那些就像事件的後遺症;它們停留一段時間，但逐漸退化。因此，大腦沒有通常頭腦中擁有的那麼多記憶。

還有第三種類型 of 記憶體。這些是普通的，沒有問題的記憶，如果個人願意，他們可以訪問。它們可能在大腦中，但它們不在腦海中。它們只是已經發生的事情的一部分，個人可以隨意利用它們。

然而，腦海中的記憶具有意義，不會褪色。這些由我們抵制的經驗組成，並被當作



情感/身體/意義包。這本書關注的是意義元素，它是心靈結構的一部分。情感/身體元素更有活力和身體，但在表面層面上被頭腦中的意義或故事鎖定在一起。它們可能被埋得如此之深，以至於我們無法輕易地與它們聯繫起來，但它們仍然存在，直到它們被個人有意識地接受為止。記憶不僅僅是像一個人生活的電影一樣被存儲。它們是被抵制和堅持的事件的能量流動，遠離抵抗它們的人。

把我們抵抗的經歷想像成涓涓細流可能是有用的。我們不想經歷它們，因為我們認為我們不能容忍這種經歷。所以我們比喻地把它們拿出來。如果它們是涓涓細流，我們建造了一個小水壩來阻止一個，然後是另一個。在不知不覺中，我們有很多水壩阻擋了大量的水。保持這些水壩的服務需要身體、情感和精神上的努力。被阻止的水是頭腦，由這些記憶事件組成。阻礙它們的機制，水壩，也是思維結構。難怪我們放慢腳步，感到疲倦。我們把所有這些未完成的關聯和沒有經驗的生活都束縛住了。我們很少意識到這一點，直到我們練習以紀律嚴明的專注力向內看。然後，我們發現在我們正常意識的角落和下方有層張力和未加工的材料。26

這些記憶事件為我們服務;它們被存儲是因為它們與我們拒絕接受的意義意義有關。持續存在抗拒的經驗促使我們，如果我們願意的話，更加意識到現實。他們不停地拍打我們的肩膀，直到我們願意完全接受這種體驗，並向更多的生活敞開心扉。人作為一個整體，傾向於解決。我們希望並努力做到完整，停止抗拒他人和生活並建立聯繫。因此，我們促使自己意識到我們在堅持什麼;我們內心與生俱來的這種傾向。

頭腦中的記憶很容易被識別為在頭腦中，而不僅僅是大腦或完成的真實記憶，因為它們是由人當時的精神狀態充電的。它們是包含事件及其



不可容忍性的時間膠囊。例如，如果一個人在某事發生時生氣，那麼這種憤怒將成為記憶的一部分。它比這更深入，因為不僅情感被儲存，而且阻止事件被充分體驗的想法也被暫停，直到它們可以有意識地釋放出來。

格雷厄姆：這段記憶來自我十歲左右的時候。我剛剛加入了一個新的學校因為我們搬到了這個地區，所以我不認識任何人。所以有一天我和這些男孩一起玩，一切似乎都很好，直到一個更大的男孩叫我們來參加他們正在玩的遊戲。我不知道到底發生了什麼;也許他們只需要一定的數位。這些天我懷疑它特別險惡。不管怎樣，和我一起玩的三四個男孩都去參加另一個遊戲，我去跟著他們。但其中一人回過頭來說：「不，不是你。我站在那裡感覺很糟糕，真的很可怕。這段記憶一直伴隨著我，在我所做的治療中出現了很多次，我想我必須完成它;我不認為我還能說什麼，即使我有這種灰色的感覺。當它在清算會議中再次出現時，我幾乎沒有提到它。但我做到了，我試圖說這無關緊要，我已經處理過了，但基思（他的Clearer）鼓勵我堅持下去，更徹底地表達自己，包括對其他男孩，這是我以前沒有做過的。突然間，我意識到胸口的疼痛。我感到如此被拒絕和孤獨;太可怕了。我只是站在那裡，獨自一人，感覺沒有人想要我。有一大塊我從來不知道的情緒，這些年來我一直避免感受它。當我以前看記憶時，它更像是一種智力練習。我已經弄清楚了我一定感受到了什麼，它產生了什麼影響，但我從未真正體驗過它。當我這樣做時，我真的感覺到我小時候有多難過，因為我父親的工作，我經常搬到全國各地，沒有真正的朋友。這很有趣。我更瞭解自己，真的對我曾經的那個小男孩感到更友善。我的記憶重新排列了自己，這個不再出現，失去了那種灰色的感覺。


對於帕坦伽利來說，他的瑜伽經與伯納後來關於心靈清除的講座緊密交織在一起，記憶也遠非被動。他說：「記憶是防止經驗內容丟失的方法。27 就我們而言，記憶是一種嘗試，通過堅持過去的事件來瞭解自己。通過這樣做，我們為自己構建了一幅我們是誰的圖景。我們用記憶來創造這幅畫，並將其呈現給我們自己，就像電影製作人的頭腦一樣。通過這張由記憶製成的照片，我們認為我們了解了我們是誰，就好像看一張照片可以告訴我們一些關於自己的真實情況。

通過記憶，我們盡最大努力定義自己。但通過這樣做，我們有效地通過過去的創傷來定義自己。這是因為我們已經忘記了我們到底是誰，並認為我們別無選擇，只能將所有記憶的碎片拼湊在一起，形成一個或多或少連貫的整體。它真的一點也不連貫，因為它充滿了不一致之處，有些部分之所以被重視，是因為它們充滿了情感衝動，而不是因為它們比任何其他想法都更真實。

然而，一旦我們理解了我們做了什麼，那麼，通過另一個方向的同等努力，去認同我們的記憶，我們可以，建議帕坦伽利和伯納，重新定義我們自己。28 但不是通過思想。這一次，我們以一種全新的方式做到這一點，找到有意識地增強我們原始自我的方法。

TIME AND UN-TIME

Time is an idea. It is the case that everything changes: we are young, we age, we die; the seasons cycle; the day comes to a close. But this is not time; time itself is actually an idea. We take on this idea when we become self-conscious and identify with a body that is subject to change. That is not to say that things do not change if we do not become self-conscious, but that we do not take on the idea of being in time and so the concept of change is not there, nor are we attached to things staying the same.22 Because of the dualistic structure of the mind, where there is the idea of time, there is always also the idea of un-time.23

Most people are more closely identified with one side of the pair than the other. Degrees of identification dictate behaviour and their combinations form the basis of particular personalities. For example, a person might be identified with un-time and this could manifest in feeling like they never have enough time. They might feel at the mercy of their schedule; it is a problem that has turned into an ongoing drama and seems to be running them, despite the fact that they are the ones making the schedule.

This is different from someone just being busy and needing to reorganise their schedule. Being identified with un-time is more charged. Time may seem like an enemy, malignant and out of control. If you are dramatising a lack of time on a regular basis and are feeling victimised by it, then you are probably identified with un-time. Yet what is described here is an extreme; un-time is often manifested in more subtle anxieties and ideas around time.

If you are identified with time, rather than un-time, it might manifest in a feeling that you have all the time in the world. You may never get much done because time seems to stretch out ahead and nothing is urgent. It could be driving people around you crazy with your laid-back attitude. You might be late for appointments or never get around to things until it is too late. It is as much of a dramatisation as the identification with un-time, and both are ideas, not reality.

The basic attitude of time/un-time gives rise to more surface attitudes in layers on top of it affecting the most casual behaviour as well as deep, fixed patterns or personality traits.



SPACE AND UN-SPACE

Like time, space, and its opposite, un-space, is taken on as soon as there is resistance to reality. It is also an idea. When you deny the physical sensation of emotion it becomes fixed in the body and so you become identified with the body as a result.

With identification with a body, inevitably we also have the idea of being located in space with its corollary, un-space. Again, this manifests in concrete ways in peoples’ lives. Someone who is identified with space might literally take up a lot of space or it may be they give the impression of doing so. They are dramatising space in order to convey a message. A person acting out ‘space’ may be saying with this attitude something like, listen to me or here I am or don’t push me away.

Someone identified with un-space, on the other hand, might dramatise this with an idea that they take up no space and do not really exist. They could have a floaty feel about them and give the impression of being hard to pin down. They might seem rather disembodied and ethereal and try not to take up much space and behave in a way that tends to erase themselves spatially from situations. They might have trouble taking up an appropriate amount of space in life. This behaviour is actually a message to others that they are acting out with spaciness or un-spaciness. Maybe it is based on an idea that if they do not take up any space, if no one can really see them, then they cannot be wrong and cannot be admonished.

MASS AND UN-MASS

This is the idea of mass; it is not the same as matter. The two are easily confused. Matter is the reality of stuff; it is the actual hard stuff itself that can be touched and has heft. Mass or weight, on the other hand, is the idea of matter or stuff. We took on this idea when we became identified with a body. There was a body anyway, but then we became identified with it; we thought we actually were the body. We go around thinking that this, my body, is ‘me’. So we identified with mass, which is the idea of matter. When we took on mass we simultaneously took on its opposite, un-mass.

If you identify with mass, you might have a rather heavy presence and be physical in your approach to life. You might prefer to sort



arguments out physically or show affection physically. It could look something like identification with space but has a different, more gross feel to it.

Identification with un-mass may look like un-groundedness, such as a dislike of the body manifesting in preferring to engage in non- physical activities and body-denying practices. It could look a lot like un-space. Identification with un-mass, with not being a body, might be manifesting in the idea that you cannot be pushed around because you have no mass, no weight. If a person could not be pushed around, at least in their own idea of how things are, by virtue of the fact that they are identified with un-mass or un-weight, then they may have an idea that they cannot be controlled by others who might want to push them around.

All dramatisations have a purpose and tell a story. In this dramatisation, it means they cannot be abandoned; it is a way of controlling relationship. They could also attach themselves to people with the idea that they could not be pushed away, because they have no mass to push. How can something that has no heft be pushed around or away? It is a neat idea. While it is only an idea, it is powerful, and people act on such stories. If you asked most people if they believed this, they would be adamant that they thought no such thing. However, at base people are identified with these ideas, but they are so basic that this is almost impossible to appreciate without considerable mindful concentration. A person might really act like they cannot be pushed away because that is how their idea of how things work is set up. These are examples of how someone might be using the idea of mass or un- mass to control relationships but stay in contact with others.

ENERGY AND UN-ENERGY

Energy and un-energy is the fourth pair. If you are identified with un- energy, you may be limp, listless, not have much get-up-and-go and feel tired all the time. This will have physical manifestations but is primarily, and certainly at first, a state of mind. That is not to say that all tiredness and listlessness are initially states of mind, though Berner was certain that most are.24



On the other side of the pair, someone identified with energy is likely to appear full of energy, bubbling with ideas and forcefulness, but this, too, is a mental construct. It is energy that is not coming directly from who they really are. The true individual is not aligned with the attitude of energy because it is an idea and not real, so the energy will be forced to some extent and will not necessarily flow easily. A person may have a very real connection with their life force, but when it becomes an identity rather than a natural expression, then it will not feel quite real and may falter. It has a reality associated with it, but the mental construct, the identification with the basic state of being, is an idea and a dramatisation.

A professional soccer player may experience this, for instance. They may have had a natural alignment with their energy early in life and this was harnessed into playing football so successfully that they became a star player. But then they increasingly experienced themselves objectified, in the media, in the reactions of people they meet and in their own sense of themselves. They may stop coming from just who they are and come instead from the idea of this star player with flair and energy, and it stops being quite real.

LEVEL V SUMMARY

On the whole, these basic states of being will run alongside each other and intersect at points. Un-energy might work with un-mass and both manifest in listlessness, but they have slightly different characteristics. These ideas and their associated behaviours might seem too convoluted to be operating us, but they do. People engage in them for a reason. They get themselves hooked up in complex ways of thinking and behaving because it was all they could do in order to stay in contact but feel safe. It appeared to be a matter of survival.



Level VI: the core of the mind, existence/un-existence At the very core of the mind is the first decision, the decision to be someone. This is the basic state of ‘I am’ or existence, together with its opposite. It is also the beginning of being socialised.

‘Existence’ could hardly look less like an attitude, but it is nevertheless an idea and operates in the way any other idea does. It is the individual made manifest in ideas. This idea is so deep-seated



that it is more properly described, alongside the others, as a basic state of being.

This may seem absurd since it is self-evident to most of us that we do exist and that this is not just an idea. But the problem is that we confuse the fact of our existence with the idea of our existence. At the point when the mind comes into being, we misunderstand what happens and start to identify with the idea of ourselves as existing. We cannot identify with the fact of our existence since we simply exist. We identify with its idea. This is the ‘I’ or ‘I am’ and marks the first moment of mind.

In flinching from the other we simultaneously become aware of ourselves from a new perspective. We become ‘I’ or ‘me’ for the first time, existing in relation to others. Of course we already existed, so it is not our existence that begins at that point, but the idea of ourselves. In a sense, we do start existing at that point since we come into time and space. Outside time and space it makes no sense to talk of something existing or not. We award meaning to ourselves and the world around us from this point. This is part of the process of learning to conform to the pressures of social living.

The theologian, Bishop Berkeley (1685–1753), asked the conundrum that was expanded into the now famous question: if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? The implication is that sound does not happen in any meaningful way unless it is heard.

Once this level, of existence and un-existence, is worked on successfully, a person will have gained freedom from the mind. They will no longer be held captive by their own mechanisms for making sense of, and categorising, the world around them, but will be free to think consciously as they choose.


The four functions of the mind

Like any organisation, the mind has a kind of bureaucracy that keeps it going as an integrated system. It has content that acts as filters and organisers of other content. Deeper attitudes act as organising points for other, less fixed ideas. In terms of these actions or functions, the



mind can be divided into four areas of activity: memory, analysis, decision-making and personality/ego.



1. Memory

Your memory is a monster; you forget – it doesn’t. It simply files things away; it keeps things for you, or hides things from you. Your memory summons things to your recall with a will of its own. You imagine you have a memory, but your memory has you!25

The memory can certainly seem to us like a monster with a will of its own, holding on to unwelcome recollections and nagging us with them. But, in fact, a specific and useful function is actually being served.

Memory consists of 1) all the memories a person has accumulated together with 2) the mechanism with which they are remembered, which is itself, made up of memories.

Memories are held in the brain and also in the mind. But they are held in each place for different reasons and in different ways.

Memories held in the brain fade after a while; they are held in the circuits of the physical brain and have no real significance. They are subject to disintegration along with the rest of the body.

The brain interacts with the mind in that information from the senses goes to the brain and then to the mind, which sorts the data. The mind then informs the brain which in turn informs the sense organs. So the content of memories held in the brain and mind are the same, up to a point, since the brain is feeding information to the mind. But those in the brain are like after-effects of the event; they stay for a while but gradually degrade. So the brain does not hold as many memories as are usually held in the mind.

There is a third type of memory. These are ordinary, unproblematic memories that the individual can access if they wish to do so. They might be in the brain but they are not held in the mind. They are simply part of what has happened and the individual can draw upon them at will.

Memories held in the mind, however, carry meaning and do not fade. These are made up of experiences we have resisted and are held



as emotion/body/meaning packages. This book is concerned with the meaning element that is specifically part of the fabric of the mind. The emotion/body elements are more energetic and physical but are locked together at the surface level by meanings or stories in the mind. They may be buried so deeply we cannot readily connect to them, but they are still there until such time as they are consciously accepted by the individual. Memories are not merely stored like a film of one’s life. They are the energetic flow of an event that has been resisted and held out and away from the person who is resisting them.

It might be useful to imagine experiences we have resisted as trickles of water. We did not want to experience them because we thought we could not tolerate the experience. So we metaphorically held them out. If they were trickles of water, we built a little dam to stop one, then another. Before we know it, we have lots of dams holding back lots of water. It takes physical, emotional and mental effort to keep those dams serviced. The water being held back is the mind, made up of these memory events. The mechanisms for holding them back, the dams, are also mind constructs. It is no wonder we slow down and become tired. We have all this unfinished relating and unexperienced life being held at bay. We are rarely conscious of this until we make a practice of looking inside with disciplined concentration. Then we discover layers of tension and unprocessed material just at the corners and underneath our normal conscious mind.26

These memory events serve a function for us; they are stored because they are connected to significances of meaning we refuse to accept. The persistent presence of resisted experiences prompts us, if we are willing, to become more conscious of reality. They keep tapping on our shoulder, as it were, until we are willing to receive the experience fully and open to more of life. People as whole beings tend towards resolution. We want and strive to be whole, to stop resisting others and life and connect. So we prompt ourselves to become aware of what we are holding out; we have this tendency innate within us.

Memories held in the mind are easily identified as being in the mind, rather than just the brain or real memories that are done with, because they are charged by the mental state the person was in at the time it was made. They are time capsules containing the event and its



intolerableness. For instance, if a person was angry when something happened, that anger will be part of the memory. And it goes deeper than this, for not only is emotion stored, but the ideas that prevented the event from being fully experienced are also suspended until they can be released consciously.

Graham: This memory was from when I was about ten. I’d just joined a new school because we’d moved to the area, so I didn’t know anyone. So one day I was playing with these boys and it all seemed fine until a bigger boy called over to us to come and join some game they were playing. I don’t know exactly what happened; maybe they only needed a certain number. These days I doubt it was especially sinister. Anyway, the three or four boys I was playing with all moved off to join this other game and I went to follow them. But one of them turned back and said, ‘No, not you.’ And I was left standing there feeling bad, really terrible. This memory stayed with me and came up loads of times in the therapy I’ve done and I thought I must be done with it; I didn’t think there was anything else I could possibly say about it even though I had this sort of grey feeling around it. When it came up again in a Clearing session I almost didn’t mention it. But I did and I tried to say it didn’t matter and that I’d dealt with it, but Keith [his Clearer] encouraged me to stay with it and express myself more thoroughly, including to the other boys, which I hadn’t done before. Suddenly I became aware of all this pain in my chest. I had felt so rejected and alone; it was horrible. I was just standing there, all alone, and it felt like no one wanted me. There was this big lump of emotion I’d never known was there, I’d avoided feeling it all these years. When I’d looked at the memory before, it was more like an intellectual exercise. I’d worked out what I must have felt and what effect it had had, but I’d never actually experienced it. And when I did, I really felt how sad I was as a little boy, moved around the country so often, with no real friends, because of my dad’s job. It was interesting. I understood myself a bit better and really felt a bit kinder about that little boy I’d been. My memories kind of rearranged themselves and this one stopped coming up and lost that grey feeling.


For Patanjali, whose Yoga Sutras are so closely woven with Berner’s later lectures on Mind Clearing, memory is also far from passive. He says, ‘Memory is the prevention of loss of experienced content.’27 Memory is an attempt, on our part, to understand ourselves through holding on to past events. By doing this we construct a picture of who we are for ourselves. We use memory to create this picture and present it back to ourselves, like the mind as filmmaker. With this picture made out of memories, we think we understand who we are as though looking at a photograph can tell us something true about ourselves.

Through memory we do our best to define ourselves. But by doing this we effectively define ourselves through our past traumas. This is because we have forgotten who we really are and think we have no choice but to piece all the little bits of memory together to form a more or less coherent whole. It is really anything but coherent as it is full of inconsistencies and some bits are given importance because they are heavy with emotional charge, not because they are any more true than any other idea.

However, once we understand what we have done, then, through an equal effort in the other direction, of de-identifying with our memories, we can, suggest Patanjali and Berner, redefine ourselves.28 But not through ideas. This time we do so in an entirely new way by finding ways to enhance our original self, consciously.