業力清除
內疚或業力是可以單獨看待的非常有用的事情。這是我們在很大程度上對自己隱瞞的事情。對別人隱瞞是有的,但對自己隱瞞才是真正的把戲;我們把自己打結,試圖擺脫做了違背我們內在標準的事情的糟糕感覺。因此,拿著紙和筆坐下來,寫下我們認為我們做了不該做的事情,以及我們沒有做的事情,是一項重大任務。這是一項令人驚訝地難以完成的任務,但它可以帶來巨大的解脫。業力清除所需要的是,我們完全認識到我們做了什麼,我們感到很糟糕。一旦我們獨自完成這項工作,並允許自己體驗
那種“壞”,通常伴隨著身體的感覺,那麼我們就會更自由。如果我們能告訴別人,那就更好了。
瑞秋:在我的清算會議結束時,我的清關者建議我繼續進行業力清凈的過程,並解釋了如何去做。我認為這很容易,尤其是在我乘飛機回來之前,我在一家沒有人認識我的酒店里獨處了一段時間。我有一個想法,我可以坐下來,把一個原本空虛的夜晚花在積極的事情上,然後結束它。但是當我拿著筆和紙坐下來時,我意識到我面對的是什麼:我!我有一半認為,在與我的Clearer的會議中,想出我做過的事情的很大一部分困難是我不想告訴她,並且因為她可能對我的看法而感到羞恥。但我發現我甚至不想告訴自己。這些話就在那裡,一開始就徘徊在遙不可及的地方,但我不得不強迫自己把它們寫下來。我寫了一些小東西,但我知道還有更多。所以我更加努力,寫了一些關於大學里欺騙男朋友的事情。這很困難,因為我對此感到非常可怕,並一直試圖證明它,即使是在那個房間里的我一個人。即使當我寫下它時,我也知道這隻是部分事實。很難把它全部寫下來,承認我對自己做了什麼,然後把它放在紙上,這樣我就可以白紙黑字地閱讀它。實際上,看到我與自己如此衝突,這是一種奇怪的經歷。當我終於把這些事情寫下來時,我經歷了巨大的悲傷——所有我感到難過的事情,都沒有說出來。最後我沒能堅持很長時間,可能只有20分鐘。但結果是我感到清醒,更真實。
“與他人的溝通”
頭腦是由失敗的溝通組成的。我們可以單獨獲得成功的另一種做法是大聲與他人交談,就好像他們在場一樣。同樣,我們可能需要在會議中取得一些成功才能單獨看到成功,並且就像清除業力一樣,要長期這樣做是困難的。但我們可以得到相當大的解脫。如果我們與他人或神聖有良好的聯繫感,尤其如此
。
在這裡,重要的是說出我們沒有大聲說的話。我們需要想像這個人與我們同在,並接受我們要說的話,無論什麼。是的。然後說出來;說出你真正想說的話,沒有說的話,被壓抑和壓抑的話。我們能夠充分做到這一點的程度,就是我們將在多大程度上清除這些未完成的通信。這被稱為“與他人的通信”。
莫莉:我嘗試過幾次與他人交流,它説明我與我可能無法獲得的情況保持距離。特別是有一次,我一個人在家裡,意識到工作中的一個困難情況在我的腦海中轉來轉去,我對幾個參與其中的人很生氣。所以我開始大聲和他們說話。我在會議中對此進行了一些練習,所以我放鬆了下來,決定不審查我所說的話,而只是說出來。在幾次錯誤的開始之後,我對自己身上散發的激情感到驚訝。這當然有助於這種情況,我覺得更有能力滿足工作環境中的情況並與這些人打交道。
隨意的聯繫
我們可以單獨處理的另一個領域是頭腦中的偶然聯繫。16 有了正念,頭腦在它歸類為相似的想法之間建立的自動聯繫可以被打破。這將從自動思維中獲得一定的自由,並相應地澄清頭腦。更複雜的聯繫也可以通過意識到這些聯繫,通過適當的紀律和時間自行解除武裝。通過這樣做,將一個人的發現傳達給願意傾聽它們的人可能是有用的,因為一個人的思想越深入,就越有可能與這些聯繫相關的情感衝動。但是,可以單獨撤銷連接的自動性。
嘗試這一點的一種方法是使用一些在腦海中不斷盤旋的東西,也許是一首歌或重複的思維
模式。把它當作冥想,一步一步地複習。不要期待任何特別的事情,並對那裡的東西持開放態度。跟隨感覺粘稠和帶電的區域。也許你會發現你很抗拒去看它的一小部分,所以對那個區域開放並繼續開放。按照連接,您很有可能找到關鍵連接。它可能只是彈出,重複的原因將被意識到,你會發現你的選擇。
簡:我用音樂試過這個。我經常有一首歌或一首曲子留在我的腦海裡,所以我試著把它當作一種隨意的聯繫來處理,看看它是否真實。我有一首安魂曲兜兜轉轉了好幾天,所以我決定停下來看看它。當時我一個人在散步,突然被腦海中這種重複的聲音激怒了,它分散了我對春天鄉村的注意力。於是我躺在草地上,離小路有點遠,閉上眼睛,認真地聽著音樂。我一遍又一遍地“聽到”每個音符。我找到了!這不是一件大事,但我意識到我的內部音響系統出現了一個小問題,其中一段音樂結束了,整個事情立即重新開始。我不認為安魂曲實際上是這樣進行的,但在我的腦海中,它只是在這個迴圈中不斷迴圈。我讀過手冊中伯納談到這種事情的那一點,我沒有同樣的他描述的經驗。我沒有注意到結尾的一個音符是否與開頭相同,或者類似的東西,但是當我聽結尾以及它如何移回開頭時,連接瓦解了。就是這樣。我有這種選擇的感覺。我可以選擇是否聽音樂,但我選擇不聽。
人們清理
有時人們在我們的腦海裡轉了一圈又一圈。我們與這些人的關係有些棘手。我們對他們生氣,或者對某事感到難過,我們會想到他們。我們可以為此做點什麼。獨自與人打交道需要專注。大聲交流是可行的,但將它們放在我們的意識中並允許自己體驗它們也可以。我們堅持或抵制過他們,所以這不一定
是舒服或容易做到的。我們正在抵制的東西往往在深層次上受到抵制,所以把注意力放在它們身上可能是艱苦的工作。但是當它完成時,即使在一定程度上,那麼與那個人的關係可能會得到緩解。這裡有一個例子:梅蘭妮:
我在一個住宅工作室里和理查有過短暫的調情,我知道我有點迷戀他。我不想和他發生關係,但我感到他周圍混合著尷尬、憤怒和背叛,不喜歡想起他,所以我盡力把他從我的腦海中抹去。我在這方面做得很好,特別是因為我們的道路沒有太多交叉。但當我知道他要參加我要參加的會議時,我感到越來越焦慮。
在我知道我會見到他的前一天晚上,我躺在床上,擔心得無法入睡。所以我決定採取行動。我把他的形象浮現在腦海中,放鬆下來。我有意識地輕鬆呼吸,讓我的四肢鬆開到床墊裡,因為我把理查的形象放在我的腦海中。我發現這真的很困難。所有這些羞恥和憤怒的感覺都出現了,我的思緒想從圖像上滑落,去一個更舒服的地方。但我堅持了下來,就像燒掉了感情一樣。我一直只是決定體驗我所感受到的一切並放鬆。我不得不不斷告訴自己,僅自己才能知道出現的東西。這很有説明。
當時我感覺也好不到哪裡去。事實上,在某些方面,我感覺更糟,過了一段時間,我決定這是浪費時間,我一定是睡著了。但是第二天,當我到達會議時,我很早就遇到了理查,這很棒。我馬上就能看出,我對以前的感覺沒有任何感覺。完全沒問題。實際上,我第一次注意到理查似乎在我周圍感到有些尷尬。我感到非常友好,但也幾乎不感興趣。
Karma clearing
Guilt or karma is something that can very usefully be looked at alone. It is something we have hidden largely from ourselves. Hiding it from others is there, but hiding it from ourselves is the real trick; we tie ourselves in knots trying to wriggle out of the bad feeling of having done something that goes against our inner standard. So the power of sitting with a paper and pen and writing down the things we think we have done that we should not have done, and the things we have failed to do, is a major task. It is a task that is surprisingly hard to keep to but it can bring enormous relief. What karma clearing requires is that we fully recognise what we have done about which we feel bad. Once we have done this alone and allowed ourselves to experience
that ‘badness’, usually accompanied by bodily sensations, then we will be freer. If we can then tell someone else, even better.
Rachel: At the end of my Clearing session, my Clearer suggested that I carry on the process of karma clearing and explained how to do it. I thought it would be easy, especially as I had some time alone in a hotel, where no one knew me, before my flight back. I had the idea that I could just sit down and devote an otherwise empty evening to something positive and get it over with. But when I sat down with my pen and paper I recognised what I was up against: me! I had half thought that, in the session with my Clearer, a huge part of the difficulty in coming up with things I’d done that I felt bad about was that I didn’t want to tell her and felt ashamed because of what she might think of me. But I found out that I didn’t even want to tell myself. The words were there, hovering just out of reach to begin with, but I had to force myself to write them down. I wrote a few minor things, but I knew there was more. So I tried harder and wrote something about cheating on a boyfriend in college. It was difficult, as I felt pretty horrible about it and kept trying to justify it, even to myself alone in that room. And even when I’d written it, I knew it was only a partial truth. It was so difficult to write it all down, confess what I’d done to myself and put it on the page so I could read it in black and white. It was a strange experience actually, to see that I was in such conflict with myself. And I experienced huge sadness as I finally wrote those things down – all the things I felt bad about and hadn’t said. I couldn’t do it for very long in the end, probably just 20 minutes. But the result was that I felt sober and more real.
‘Communication to other’
The mind is made up of failed communications. Another practice we can get some success with alone is to speak to others out loud as if they were present. Again, we probably need to have had some success with this in sessions to see success alone and, as with karma clearing, to do it for long is difficult. But we can gain considerable relief. This is
especially so if we have a good sense of connection with others or with a sense of the divine.
It is important here to say what we have not said out loud. We need to imagine the person as present with us and receptive to what we have to say, whatever it is. Then say it; say what you really want to say, what has not been said, what has been held back and suppressed. The extent to which we can do this fully is the extent to which we will be clear of those unfinished communications. This is known as ‘communication to other’.
Molly: I tried communication to other alone a few times and it helped me get a bit of distance from situations that I might not otherwise have got. One time in particular, I was alone in the house and realised that a difficult situation at work was going round and round in my head and I was angry with a couple of the people involved. So I started talking out loud to them. I’d had some practice at this in sessions, so I relaxed and decided not to censor what I said, but just to say it. After a couple of false starts, I surprised myself with the passion that came out of me. It certainly helped the situation and I felt more able to meet the situation in the work environment and deal with those people.
Casual connections
Another area we can work on alone is casual connections in the mind.16 With mindfulness, the automatic connections the mind makes between ideas it classifies as similar can be broken. This will gain a certain amount of freedom from automatic thinking and correspondingly clarify the mind. More complex connections can also be disarmed on one’s own with adequate discipline and time by becoming conscious of the connections. By doing this, it might be useful to communicate one’s findings to someone open to hearing them, as the deeper one gets with the mind, the more there is likely to be emotional charge related to those connections. However, the automaticity of the connections can be undone alone.
One way to experiment with this is to work with something that keeps going round in the head, perhaps a song or a repetitive thought
pattern. Use it as a meditation and go over it step by step. Do not expect anything in particular and be open to what is there. Follow areas that feel sticky and charged. Maybe you will find you are resistant to looking into a little area of it, so open to that area and keep opening. Follow the connections and there is every chance you will find a key connection. It may just pop up and the cause of the repetition will be made conscious and you will discover your choice.
Jane: I tried this with music. I often have a song or tune stuck in my mind, so I tried dealing with it as a casual connection to see if it was true. I had had a bit of a requiem going round and round for what felt like days, so I decided to stop and look at it. I was on a walk on my own at the time, suddenly irritated by this repetitive sound in my head distracting me from the spring countryside. So I lay down in the meadow, a little away from the path, closed my eyes, and really listened to the music. I went over and over it, ‘hearing’ each note. And I found it! It wasn’t a big thing, but I became aware of a little hitch in my internal sound system where the end of one bit of the music came and immediately the whole thing started over. I don’t think it was actually how the requiem went, but in my head, it just kept going round in this loop. I’d read the bit in the manual where Berner talks about this sort of thing, and I didn’t have the same experience he describes. I didn’t notice if one note at the end was the same as at the beginning, or anything like that, but as I listened to the end and how it moved back to the start, the connection disintegrated. And that was that. I had this feeling of choice. I could choose to hear the music or not, and I chose not to.
People clearing
Sometimes people go round and round in our minds. Something is sticky about our relationship with these people. We are angry with them, or feel bad about something, and we think about them. We can do something about this. Dealing with people on our own requires concentration. Communicating out loud can work, but so can holding them in our consciousness and allowing ourselves to experience them. We have held out or resisted something about them, so this is not
necessarily comfortable or easy to do. The things we are resisting are often resisted at a deep level, so keeping our attention on them can be hard work. But when it is done, even to a degree, then the relationship with that person will probably be eased. Here is an example:
Melanie: I had a brief flirtation with Richard on a residential workshop and I knew I was a bit fixated on him. I didn’t want to have a relationship with him, but I felt a mixture of embarrassment and anger and betrayal around him and didn’t like to think of him, so I did my best to put him out of my mind. I did fairly well with this, especially as our paths didn’t cross much. But when I knew he was going to be at a conference I was going to, I felt increasingly anxious about it.
The night before I knew I would meet him, I lay in bed, unable to sleep with worry about it. So I decided to act. I brought an image of him to mind and relaxed. I consciously breathed easily and let my limbs release into the mattress as I held the image of Richard at the front of my mind. I found it really difficult. All these feelings of shame and anger came up and my mind wanted to slide off the image and go somewhere more comfortable. But I carried on and it was like burning off the feelings. I kept simply deciding to experience whatever I was feeling and relaxing. I had to keep telling myself that it was only me who was going to know about the stuff that came up. That helped.
At the time I didn’t feel any better. In fact, in some ways I felt worse and, after quite a while, decided it was a waste of time, and I must have gone to sleep. But the next day, when I arrived at the conference, I met Richard quite early on and it was great. I could tell immediately that I didn’t feel anything of what I’d felt before. It was completely OK. I actually noticed for the first time that Richard seemed to be feeling some awkwardness around me. I felt perfectly friendly but also pretty much uninterested.
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