其他未知
的 歸根結底，我們與他人如此掙扎的原因是我們並不真正知道他們是什麼。29 然而，乍一看，這聽起來像是一個荒謬的說法。我們一直與其他人交往，並假設他們很像我們。但其他人做事的方式很可怕，我們不理解和期待，這給我們帶來痛苦。我們並不完全知道別人是什麼，這個問題對我們來說是非常真實的。我們愛別人，卻害怕他們。不確定別人的真實身份會導致他們不完全信任他們，即使是我們特別親近的人。那些可能會更好，但我們仍然不知道它們是什麼。因此，無論我們多麼想要聯繫，我們都會設置障礙。
頭腦是一件壞事
頭腦代表了我們與他人保持關係的最大努力，儘管事情出錯了。但作為真實關係的替代品，這是一個錯誤的解決方案。它很笨拙，最終礙事。它為我們提供了錯誤資訊，因此不可信。頭腦是一種在與他人接觸的同時遠離他人的卡住位置。這是試圖操縱別人來讓自己被愛。根據定義，頭腦是一個問題，因此我們最好沒有頭腦。
顯然，本書提倡無心。但這不是殭屍宣言。相反，它是清楚地看到現實的宣言，沒有固定思想的迷霧。沒有頭腦，我們就是從我們真實自我的確定平台行動的。我們聯繫，我們反應，我們愛，我們甚至可能恨。但是我們不會陷入任何關於事物和人的想法
中。我們行使我們的選擇並獲得自由。我們從成年人的自我出發，而不是根據年幼時做出的決定行事。沒有思想，我們只是自由地做自己。
頭腦是一件好事 頭腦也是一件好事
，因為它使我們保持關係;我們沒有走開，也沒有回頭。關係從根本上說是我們在生活中想要的。這就是帶來成就感的原因。
這也是一件好事，因為沒有頭腦，我們就無法超越頭腦。如果沒有我們在承擔心時獲得的自我意識，我們就無法審視自己並朝著消解心的方向取得進展。我們永遠不會成為有意識的、行動的成年人。
心不壞 最後，心既不好也不壞。當我們到達一個超越“好”和“壞”的地方時，我們就會感到滿足。這與“任何事情都會發生”的虛無主義資訊不同。當二元性被超越，我們從我們是誰開始行動時，我們就會發現自己與生俱來的良知，並關心他人和世界。在這一點上，這不再基於好與壞的想法。它只是與現實和諧相處。
結論
頭腦，這種對關係問題的巧妙解決方案，並不像我們想像的那麼有用。事實證明，它阻礙了我們與他人的接觸，而不是讓我們重新建立輕鬆的關係。當我們真的想伸出援手並建立良好的聯繫時，頭腦為我們拋出各種各樣的問題，我們經常發現自己離別人越來越遠。我們把它放在那裡，在我們和他們之間，現在它擋住了去路。我們能做什麼？
有些人比其他人更有頭腦。但我們在某種程度上都掌握在它的控制之下，並且很難知道該怎麼做。因此，我們大多數人繼續使用我們想出的第一個解決方案：頭腦。
我們不斷深入挖掘。我們實際上並不知道我們有思想，因為我們是如此認同它，而且在它之外似乎沒有現實。所以我們不明白，繼續挖掘只會讓問題變得更糟，讓我們離真正的關係更遠。我們認為我們需要修復思想，讓它更好地為我們工作。我們也認為大部分問題在於他們，其他人。但這是所有的思想。
頭腦看起來像一個大東西。但實際上它看起來很大，因為它就在我們眼前，遮擋了我們的視線。真的非常小。當我們開始把它放回原位時，健康就會到來。當我們能夠毫無畏懼地建立關係時，當我們能夠與他人聯繫或不與現實和愛聯繫時，和平就會到來。然後，我們不再需要所有的想法來下定決心，它就會消失。
如何努力走向無心，是查理斯·伯納一生都在探索和教導的東西。要欣賞他的方法，我們需要瞭解思維的結構和工作原理。
關鍵點
◉你不是你的思想。
◉ 思想是直接溝通的替代品。
◉ 頭腦是個人從固定態度中構成的所有想法及其組合。
◉ 頭腦是一個人抵抗並試圖強迫他人。
◉ 我們從統一的生活體驗開始，但這是無意識的。這是子狀態。
◉ 心靈是通過關係中斷產生的，通常在生命的前 5 年。這種中斷導致雙重意識。
◉ 頭腦無法自行解決。只有個人才能解決思想。
Others are unknown
Ultimately, the reason we struggle so much with others is because we do not really know what they are.29 Yet at first glance, this might sound like a ludicrous statement. We relate to other people all the time and assume they are much like we are. But others have a scary way of doing things we do not understand and do not expect, and that causes us distress. We do not fully know what others are and this problem is very real for us. We love others but are afraid of them. Not being sure what others really are results in not trusting them completely, even the ones to whom we are especially close. It might be better with those ones, but we still do not know what they are. So, however much we want the contact, we put up barriers.
The mind is a bad thing
The mind represents our best efforts to remain in relationship with others, despite the distress of things having gone wrong. But as a substitute for real relating it is a false solution. It is clumsy and ends up getting in the way. It feeds us misinformation and therefore cannot be trusted. The mind is a stuck position of backing away from others at the same time as reaching out to them. It is an attempt to manipulate others to get ourselves loved. The mind is a problem by definition and thus a bad thing we would be better off without.
As shall be clear, this book advocates working towards no-mind. But this is not a zombie manifesto. On the contrary, it is a manifesto for seeing reality clearly and without a fog of fixed ideas. Without the mind we act from the sure platform of our true self. We relate, we react, we love, we may even hate. But we do not get stuck in any of these ideas
about things and people. We exercise our choice and gain freedom. We act from our adult self and not on the basis of decisions made as young children. Without minds we are simply free to be ourselves.
The mind is a good thing
The mind is also a good thing because it keeps us in relationship; we did not walk away and not look back. Relationship is fundamentally what we want in life. This is what brings fulfilment.
It is also a good thing because, without the mind, we would not be able to move beyond the mind. Without the self-consciousness we gain when we assume the mind, we would not be able to examine ourselves and make progress towards dissolving the mind. We would never become conscious, acting adults.
The mind is neither good nor bad Finally, the mind is neither good nor bad. We are fulfilled when we get to a place beyond designations of ‘good’ and ‘bad’. That is not the same as a nihilistic message of ‘anything goes’. When duality is transcended and we act from who we are, we discover our innate conscience and care for others and the world. At that point, this is no longer based on ideas of good and bad. It is simply in harmony with reality.
Conclusion
The mind, this neat solution to the problem of relating, is not as helpful as we have believed. It turns out that it gets in the way of our contact with others instead of putting us back into easy relating. When we really want to reach out and have good contact, the mind throws up all sorts of problems for us and we often find ourselves getting further away from others. We put it there, between us and them, and now it is in the way. What can we do?
Some people have more mind than others. But we are all in its grip to some extent and struggle to know what to do. So most of us continue to work with the first solution we came up with: the mind.
We keep on digging deeper into it. We do not actually know we have a mind because we are so identified with it and there seems to be no reality outside it. So we do not appreciate that carrying on digging only makes the problem worse and takes us further from real relationship. We think we need to fix the mind and make it work better for us. Also we think much of the problem is them, others. But it is all the mind.
The mind looks like a big thing. But really it only looks big because it is right in front of our noses, obscuring our vision. Really it is very small. Health comes when we start to put it back in its place. Peace comes when we can establish relationships without fear, when we can contact others, or not, with reality and love. Then we no longer need all the ideas that go to make up the mind and it simply falls away.
How to work towards no-mind is what Charles Berner bent his whole life to finding out and teaching. To appreciate his approach, we need to understand how the mind is structured and works.
Key points
◉ You are not your mind.
◉ The mind is a substitute for direct communication.
◉ The mind is all the ideas and their combinations an individual has made up from a fixed attitude.
◉ The mind is one’s resisting and trying to force others.
◉ We start out with a unified experience of life, but this is unconscious. This is the child state.
◉ The mind comes about through a break in relationship, usually in the first 5 years of life. This break results in dual consciousness.
◉ The mind cannot resolve itself. Only the individual can resolve the mind.
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