第三步：識別資訊，或者媒介是資訊12
頭腦是一系列的問題和虛假的解決方案，一系列的溝通困難，相關的困難，理解困難，其中人想出了替代方法，試圖將某些東西傳達給他人。13
每一種態度都是間接的溝通。當一個人無法表達他們想要交流的東西時，他們最終會放棄試圖直接傳達它，並採取一種態度來代替直接溝通。這種態度和與之相關的行為就是溝通，但它已經變得扭曲了。
當態度變得間接時，態度就會變得固定，並且根據定義，是功能失調的溝通嘗試。因為它們不能作為通信工作，所以它們會陷入迴圈，並且通常越來越固定。
小時候，佐伊看到父母吵架，嚇壞了。她想說的是，“我不喜歡這樣，我不想這樣感到孤獨”，她可能試圖這樣說。但她的父母沒有得到它，或者她當然覺得他們沒有得到它。也許他們太投入了他們正在做的事情，她害怕傳達資訊，因為她認為如果她這樣做，他們可能不會愛她。無論如何，消息從未傳遞過，一直懸在它們之間的空間中。
我們從未停止嘗試在潛意識層面傳達資訊。溝通的本質是必須傳達的，在這一點實現之前，信息將不斷敲門。但在這種情況下，用語言表達它不起作用，所以佐伊下意識地決定用另一種方式表達它。在這種情況下，她把溝通變成了在父母看起來不滿時撤回對他們的愛。在後來的生活中，當其他人看起來很生氣時，她也會做同樣的事情。她有一個故事，「如果我退出，他們會注意到我不想獨自一人。
從那時起，她基本上不再試圖用語言表達資訊，媒介變成了資訊;當任何事情觸發她的相關記憶時，它就變成了退縮的行為。潛意識裡，她利用自己的退縮來傳達自己的資訊，這種行為成為她個性的一部分。
在潛意識層面，我們大聲而清晰地傳達我們的資訊，但總的來說，人們不會得到這些資訊，因為這些資訊是間接的。此外，我們投資於人們的錯誤，所以，從某種意義上說，我們不希望他們得到資訊，因為我們已經成為受害者。為了讓別人犯錯，我們必須不斷恢復自己是他們不理解的受害者的想法。
經歷這些步驟的目的是解開態度，直到發現和傳遞該資訊，以便它不再分散人們對現在的注意力。有些人可能能夠在沒有所有這些工作的情況下識別資訊，但大多數人需要朝著它採取措施，並從態度上去識別，以便足夠清楚地看到它，看看信息是什麼。克利克Earer可能需要幫助他們360°了解他們如何使用這種態度作為理解過程的一部分。
意識到他們實際上是自己創造態度是重要的一步。但光有理智的理解是不夠的。這個人可能能夠看到，他們不僅在自己選擇創造一種態度，比如“人們是壞的”，而且他們把自己留在其中，並以此傷害自己和他人。他們正在成為受害者並虐待來自該州的其他人。僅憑這些知識可能不會改度。
布倫達以“我不夠”的態度，從這種態度操縱他人。在“我不夠”中四處走動極大地影響了她的行為。她習慣於通過不同的機制來貶低自己。例如，她不追求晉陞，但當別人被提拔超過她時，她會變得怨恨，儘管他們積極為晉陞而努力，而她不僅沒有為此工作，而且傾向於輕描淡寫和破壞
自己的貢獻。她還用它來避免對生活中的許多關係互動負責。在她關於自己的故事中，如果她不夠，那麼她就不能被批評。這是因為她已經判斷自己不夠了。任何對她行為的批評都可以通過她說或想來反駁，「我告訴過你我還不夠，所以如果我沒有達到你的期望，你會期待什麼？從她「不夠」的態度中，她可以無視人們，忘記打電話給他們或不考慮告訴他們一些重要的事情。但如果他們抱怨，她已經警告過他們，所以在她看來這不是她的錯。此外，這實際上是他們在她的敘述中的錯，因為他們應該知道她是什麼樣的。隨著布倫達越來越多地以這種“我不夠”的態度工作，她發現她是如何用它來責怪別人，因為她的生活就是這樣。她越能看到這一點，並在會議中表達出來，她就越發現它在她的生活中以微妙的方式發生了變化。有時她更清楚自己有多生氣和痛苦。但其他時候，她發現自己對人們感到更多的同情，她開始更多地與人交往，尤其是在工作中。
態度往往是複雜的行為模式，總是使別人犯錯，使持這種態度的人保持正確，並證明他們逃避責任是正當的。在基本態度上，也總是自我防禦的，並且建立在一個人無法傳達的資訊之上。這幾乎總是發生在生命的早期，資訊可能是給父母或主要照顧者的。
投資 這個人需要充分欣賞他們在保持態度方面的投資
，也就是說，這種態度如何在生活中為他們服務。態度總是讓別人錯，讓人對。當然，現實與我們想像的非常不同，當我們被鎖定在表演一種態度時。當我們從某種態度行事時，我們覺得完全有理由這樣做，而且很難看出我們是這樣做的人。態度是受害者狀態s.14
布倫達：一旦我做了一段時間，我開始發現我四處走動的“別人不理解我”的態度並不是真的讓別人不理解我。我實際上是用它來繼續看到其他人是錯誤的。我開始看到我設置了人們不讓我。我不能很好地解釋自己，然後我責怪他們不理解。但實際上，我已經做到了，我讓任何人，除了千里眼，幾乎不可能理解我的意思。但只要我四處走動，認為人們不理解我，那麼我就可以認為他們錯了，我基本上沒問題，這都是他們的錯。關鍵點是，我不必對我的人際關係負責，因為他們是搞砸它的人。
當然，保持一種態度實際上並不能阻止任何人犯錯，但它似乎確實如此。如果客戶在態度上根本看不到自己的代理權，那麼現在進行態度清理可能還為時過早。無論如何，一旦有人盡其所能查看他們如何使用它，就該進行最後一步了。
在這一點上，這個人通常有可能開始看到一些態度是錯誤解決方案的東西。這個人採取這種態度是因為他們試圖向某人傳達一些關於他們自己的事情。這永遠行不通;如果是這樣，這個人就不需要這種態度，它就不再是。固定態度的本質是它不起作用，這就是為什麼它是固定的。
信息在
頭腦清晰中，我們問：“你試圖通過這種態度來告訴別人關於你自己的什麼？人們唯一想與他人交流的資訊是關於他們自己的。他們認為有人未能理解他們。這不是那個人;這是他的態度。人是在別處，就概念上的分離而不是空間上的分離而言。這個人實際上是，如果你想找到他，通常定位在態度上。但這是一種概念上的分離。換句話說，當你有一個個性時，這個個性就在
你所處的
位置，但它不是你......這允許積累所有關於你和其他人對你的不完整溝通，因為你通過一種特定的態度接收它們。15
可能需要一些工作才能得到資訊，指令可能必須改變或解釋，但最終這個人會想出一些東西。
重要的是找到所謂的反應性消息。很多時候，人們會想出很多資訊。有些會比其他的更相關並且很有意義，但它們沒有很大的衝擊力。這就是為什麼所有這些步驟都在這裡的部分原因 - 説明一個人通過態度工作到一個足夠清晰的點，並且有足夠的空間來了解反應性信息是什麼。這也是為什麼態度清除通常只有在一個人已經提高自己時才會進行。
他們所處的態度或狀態具有真正的能量力量。這不僅僅是一個想法;它具有表現在行為和人的存在方式中的實質。它是整個綜合症的表面。當我們在尋找綜合症的認知元素時，當找到保持行為的確切資訊時，它會與具有影響和電荷的整個能量結構聯繫起來。我們期待的正是這一資訊。態度和資訊之間的聯繫需要被識別，並將與態度或狀態產生共鳴。找到該消息后，是時候轉到步驟 4 了。
布倫達（Brenda）在經歷了她“我不夠”的態度之後，終於到達了一個地方，她從“我”中解脫出來，足以看到周圍的環境。這一點，加上她在這個過程中的洞察力，讓她看到了她是如何用它來控制人們的。她可以看到她的投資是為了保持它。當她審視自己在“我不夠”狀態時的生活時，她越來越多地發現她想說的主要是針對她的母親。這是一種本能;當她覺得自己有態度並試圖表達她真正想說的話時，她只是
發現母親的形象越來越強烈地進入她的思想，以及一種無法表達自己的痛苦和沮喪感。
雖然她在生活中更廣泛地使用這種態度，但歸根結底，她的母親特別認為她不夠。在她的Clearer的説明下，她開始尋找這種態度所傳達的資訊。這需要做很多工作，因為它已經被習慣性行為覆蓋了近50年。但她最終開始想出一些她能夠在會議中表達的資訊。其中包括“你不愛我”，“我恨你”和“你從來沒有給我足夠的關注”。Clearer寫下了這些，他們進入了過程的最後階段。
第 4 步：傳遞資訊 下一步是採取這個人試圖通過態度告訴別人關於自己的資訊
，並讓他們大聲地直接傳達給其他人。這個人可能知道它是針對特定的其他人，例如他們的父母，但它可能是針對所有其他人的。
例如，「我很特別」的態度可能是生活中被表現出來的，但這個人真正在說的是，「我恨你，遠離我，你並不特別，你什麼都不是」，但他們通過這種態度“交流”它，因為他們認為如果他們堅持下去，人們會以某種方式意識到他們是多麼錯誤， 這個人有多正確，這個人有多恨他們。令人震驚的是，面對在傳達資訊方面一再失敗，我們如何保持這些態度。我們在正確的道路上投入了大量資金，以至於我們無論如何都會繼續前進。
即使在做了所有這些工作以瞭解資訊是什麼之後，這個人可能不會停止表現出試圖傳達它的態度。他們可能會在這件事上有更多的選擇，而不是把它戲劇化那麼多 bu仍然由它操作。這就是他們一生都在努力實現它的方式。他們沒有其他方式。他們無法真正想像另一種方式，所以他們現在幾乎不會停下來，即使他們知道他們所知道的關於他們如何對自己這樣做並且它不起作用的所有資訊
。我們必須比態度的360°視圖更進一步。下一步是更好地進行溝通。
問題是我已經在自己身上做了很多工作。我接受過多年的治療，做過小組工作和冥想，我知道我為什麼做事以及如何做。這實際上是非常令人沮喪的，因為所有這些理解都沒有真正的説明。這對我有一點説明，但我仍然想表演出來，而且非常令人沮喪，以至於很多東西仍然存在。Mind Clear在從事這些事情這麼多年之後，讓我大開眼界。首先，我想也許我們只是要再次做同樣的舊事。我的Clearer問我關於我自己的情況，我告訴了她，就像，『我們再來一次。但我們沒有。我以前做過一些事情，但這次它走得更遠。她一直和我一起工作，直到我明白了一些我以前從未理解過的東西，也就是說，我意識到我在說什麼，所有這些表演，或者想要表演。她也幫我把它弄明白了。當我剛剛說完這句話時，她並沒有停下來;她讓我真正說出來。起初我覺得很傻，這似乎是某種角色扮演，但到最後我站起來大聲喊出來，我無法停止。我說了一遍又一遍。把它從我的系統中取出感覺真好。它來自我以前從未認識的地方，淚水從我的臉上流下來，鼻涕從我的鼻子裡流出來，我不在乎。這些話感覺就像是從我的肚臍里說出來的，在這股發自肺腑的洪流中直接從我的嘴裡說出來。當它完成時，它就完成了。這是不同的。就像我以前從未做過的一樣。這不是一種洞察力，儘管我在做這件事時有洞察力，而且它不是知識份子的。這隻是一種解脫和真相，世界停止轉動，我以前所未有的方式在這裡。我變了一個人。 此人可能需要説明才能直接傳達資訊。
他們一生都在試圖間接地傳達它。這個信息已經埋藏在潛意識中多年了。他們甚至不知道那是什麼。至關重要的是，更清晰
者自己
理解資訊;否則，他們可能會成為另一個沒有得到它的人。
它是反應性消息，必須與隨之而來的反應性資訊一起傳遞。這並不是說它一定會是一個巨大的情緒爆發。可能是，但可能是安靜的。無論如何，它必須是真實和完整的，並帶有態度的指控和溝通，但這一次它將直接傳遞，沒有扭曲。
人們在嘗試查明確切資訊時首先想到的可能與主要信息有關，就像上面布倫達的例子一樣。確切的資訊可能被埋藏在必須剝離的想法層層之下。看看他們在保持態度方面有什麼投資 gOING將幫助他們找到消息。投資和資訊是緊密相連的。在某種程度上，它們是一回事。
早些時候，在第2步中，思考態度，有人說人沒有必要進入態度或狀態，而只是為了了解他們處於態度或狀態的想法。然而，在這裡，情況有所不同。反應性資訊，原始資訊，與頭腦的東西，頭腦的能量東西精確地連接在一起：
很多時候，它指向漩渦的中心，在那裡，狀態的意義，思想的內容，意義，與......心智...你將不得不得到一個情感表達伴隨著它......這就是反應性資訊所在的地方，就在他們被識別最多的接觸點。16
當資訊與心靈的能量結構相遇，
當反應性資訊直接傳遞給另一個接收它的活生生的人時，就會釋放出來，那麼頭腦中那個層次的一切就會放手。與這種特定態度的聯繫網路只是放開了，那裡有空間，還有解脫。這是獲取反應消息的副產品。
圖7.1 信息與心靈
能量結構相遇的點 在潛在態度受到打擊之前，可能需要幾輪思考對立面並找到資訊。但是，當它被個人直接溝通的全部力量擊中和傳遞時，它與任何其他資訊都大不相同。
布倫達確定了許多不同的資訊。其他人也在那裡，但這些資訊主要是針對她的母親的。她被鼓勵把這些資訊傳達給她的母親，就好像她在房間里一樣，可以收到通信，即使她的母親已經去世好幾年了。她盡其所能地做到了這一點，在這個過程中有一些緩解。她能感覺到一些憤怒和苦澀從她身上流出。但她和她的Clearer討論了這個問題，並同意缺少一些東西。她的溝通是正確的，但缺乏反應性信息的影響力。因此，他們一起探索這種態度的真正含義。Clearer問了布倫達一些問題，比如，“你母親沒有得到什麼？”，“她不知道你什麼？”，“你沒有對她說什麼？”他們這樣工作了一段時間。
儘管布倫達覺得很難，但她越來越覺得正確傳達資訊的重要性，並開始對她說的話越來越挑剔。每次她表達的信息有點不同時，她都能以1-10的現實和準確性評分。最後，她平靜地說：“不要離開我。起初看起來並不多，Clearer幾乎錯過了它，因為它幾乎是耳語，布倫達似乎傾向於認為它很愚蠢;
她說這話的時候笑了一下。但是它有一個不同的戒指，所以清除者問h再重複一遍，這次聲音更大。“不要離開我！”聽起來又不一樣了，真實。所以，她又被要求重複一遍，這次更大，「不要離開我！她每說一句話，聲音都越清晰越響亮，她坐直了身子，神色也更清晰了，彷彿霧散了。最後，通常用低沉而安靜的聲音說話的布倫達開始向她的母親尖叫，“不要離開我！”，哭泣。她就在那裡，在溝通的背後，感受著它的真實性以及它的重要性。清澈者完全收到了通訊，這一次與所有其他時間說資訊不同，他們都知道。布倫達的整個存在發生了一些變化。她卸下了她一生中大部分時間背負的負擔。
這個人通常不會在第一時間收到整個資訊，或者他們可能無法完全傳達它。當反應性資訊在那個時候盡其所能傳遞時，清除者必須進入最後階段，並詢問這個人是否認為他們會繼續使用它：“你認為你還會用這種態度告訴人們”我恨你“，”我愛你“或其他什麼資訊嗎？
如果這個人對他們是否會繼續使用這種態度來傳達特定資訊有任何疑問，那麼它還沒有消失，Clearer 將返回第 2 步並從那裡再次繼續。態度可能已經改變了一點。他們本可以去掉一層，然後以更深層次的態度工作可能是合適的。
如果在回應第4步時，這個人完全清楚他們將不再使用這種態度來傳達信息，他們可以繼續以另一種態度工作。即使他們確定他們不會使用它，它可能仍然存在一點。要麼這個人沒有完全傳達它，要麼它不是完全正確的資訊。時間就是對此的考驗。但是，如果反應性資訊在當下完全傳遞，那麼態度就會被吹出水面，不會回來。
評論
伯納意識到，未經溝通的交流是保持思想運轉的原因，他說：“
我自己也見過很多次，也經歷過很多次。正是我的經歷讓我意識到，存在是什麼，就是那種未經交流的交流。17
正是那些我們沒有直接交流的東西，才成為思想，使我們以特定的方式思考世界。
如果你找到了正確的目標，正確的障礙或態度，並且是這個人有興趣努力的方向，那麼如果他自己繼續得到這種態度，他自己自由選擇，直到他真正有一個主觀的，直接的，有意識的體驗，事實上， 選擇者，在態度的形成中;如果你發現了他試圖傳達給其他人的資訊;如果你提高他直接傳達資訊的能力，這樣他就不再需要這種間接方法，那麼這個人就不會再選擇這種態度了。他將不再被固定在其中或受制於它。他的生活將不再受它指導，也不會干涉e 與他一起實現他的目標。心靈的那部分已經被清除，不再是他和其他人之間的障礙。這就是清理的意思：消除自己和他人之間的障礙。18
要找到某種特定態度的根源，可能需要好幾輪，但一旦處理了，它就會消失。隨之而來的是懸浮在頭腦中的所有經驗部分，由於這種特殊的態度而被抵制。根據所處理的態度的規模，該人在生活的各個方面和思維方式中都會感到自由。這些地方將不再有反應和抵抗。
心有不同層次的，如果一個人能夠將自己的態度直接處理到內心的核心，那麼心中就不會再有麻煩了。它將不再是與個人分開
的東西。個人會有想法和思考，但這些過程將通過選擇而不是自動完成。
這似乎很容易，不需要一個很長的技巧來讓人們從自己說話，說出他們在生活中沒有說過的話。可以認為，可以鼓勵人們繼續說出一切。但經驗表明，大多數人都做不到這一點。唯一能幫助我們大多數人的就是在關係方面做得更好，可衡量的和明顯的。為此，清算溝通週期是有效的。交談可能是偶然的，但開始有意識地完成這些步驟會讓機會從等式中脫穎而出，並使説明更有可能和可複製。這需要技巧和應用，但可以做到。它要求更清晰的人也改善他們與面前的人的關係。通過這種方式，這項工作是一種合作，因為 Clearer 必須真正參與其中。
這個人或多或少已經放棄了在生活中真正想說的話。我們可以肯定這一點。這就是為什麼他們使用帶有扭曲行為的態度來交流。所以他們不會說出他們真正想說的話，除非先改善與他人的關係。這不是坐下來，經歷詢問和傾聽的動作。這是實際的改進。
這就是説明：清晰者必須決定幫助這個人更好地建立關係，要做到這一點，他們必須更好地與那個人建立聯繫。
帕坦伽利描述了我們可以訓練心的方法，並通過練習逐漸減少記憶和態度的影響，最終消除心。也許他在第一卷中提到的反記憶類似於態度清除的效果。19 無論如何，他支持這樣一種觀點，即追溯我們的態度和記憶是最終處理它們的方法。20
在帕坦伽利的體系中，僅僅揭示自己當前執著或厭惡的歷史起源是不夠的。一個人必須以微妙的形式放棄痛苦的根源（這是過去的經驗）。21
頭腦是一系列的問題和虛假的解決方案，一系列的溝通困難，相關的困難，理解困難，其中人想出了替代方法，試圖將某些東西傳達給他人。13
每一種態度都是間接的溝通。當一個人無法表達他們想要交流的東西時，他們最終會放棄試圖直接傳達它，並採取一種態度來代替直接溝通。這種態度和與之相關的行為就是溝通，但它已經變得扭曲了。
當態度變得間接時，態度就會變得固定，並且根據定義，是功能失調的溝通嘗試。因為它們不能作為通信工作，所以它們會陷入迴圈，並且通常越來越固定。
小時候，佐伊看到父母吵架，嚇壞了。她想說的是，“我不喜歡這樣，我不想這樣感到孤獨”，她可能試圖這樣說。但她的父母沒有得到它，或者她當然覺得他們沒有得到它。也許他們太投入了他們正在做的事情，她害怕傳達資訊，因為她認為如果她這樣做，他們可能不會愛她。無論如何，消息從未傳遞過，一直懸在它們之間的空間中。
我們從未停止嘗試在潛意識層面傳達資訊。溝通的本質是必須傳達的，在這一點實現之前，信息將不斷敲門。但在這種情況下，用語言表達它不起作用，所以佐伊下意識地決定用另一種方式表達它。在這種情況下，她把溝通變成了在父母看起來不滿時撤回對他們的愛。在後來的生活中，當其他人看起來很生氣時，她也會做同樣的事情。她有一個故事，「如果我退出，他們會注意到我不想獨自一人。
從那時起，她基本上不再試圖用語言表達資訊，媒介變成了資訊;當任何事情觸發她的相關記憶時，它就變成了退縮的行為。潛意識裡，她利用自己的退縮來傳達自己的資訊，這種行為成為她個性的一部分。
在潛意識層面，我們大聲而清晰地傳達我們的資訊，但總的來說，人們不會得到這些資訊，因為這些資訊是間接的。此外，我們投資於人們的錯誤，所以，從某種意義上說，我們不希望他們得到資訊，因為我們已經成為受害者。為了讓別人犯錯，我們必須不斷恢復自己是他們不理解的受害者的想法。
經歷這些步驟的目的是解開態度，直到發現和傳遞該資訊，以便它不再分散人們對現在的注意力。有些人可能能夠在沒有所有這些工作的情況下識別資訊，但大多數人需要朝著它採取措施，並從態度上去識別，以便足夠清楚地看到它，看看信息是什麼。克利克Earer可能需要幫助他們360°了解他們如何使用這種態度作為理解過程的一部分。
意識到他們實際上是自己創造態度是重要的一步。但光有理智的理解是不夠的。這個人可能能夠看到，他們不僅在自己選擇創造一種態度，比如“人們是壞的”，而且他們把自己留在其中，並以此傷害自己和他人。他們正在成為受害者並虐待來自該州的其他人。僅憑這些知識可能不會改度。
布倫達以“我不夠”的態度，從這種態度操縱他人。在“我不夠”中四處走動極大地影響了她的行為。她習慣於通過不同的機制來貶低自己。例如，她不追求晉陞，但當別人被提拔超過她時，她會變得怨恨，儘管他們積極為晉陞而努力，而她不僅沒有為此工作，而且傾向於輕描淡寫和破壞
自己的貢獻。她還用它來避免對生活中的許多關係互動負責。在她關於自己的故事中，如果她不夠，那麼她就不能被批評。這是因為她已經判斷自己不夠了。任何對她行為的批評都可以通過她說或想來反駁，「我告訴過你我還不夠，所以如果我沒有達到你的期望，你會期待什麼？從她「不夠」的態度中，她可以無視人們，忘記打電話給他們或不考慮告訴他們一些重要的事情。但如果他們抱怨，她已經警告過他們，所以在她看來這不是她的錯。此外，這實際上是他們在她的敘述中的錯，因為他們應該知道她是什麼樣的。隨著布倫達越來越多地以這種“我不夠”的態度工作，她發現她是如何用它來責怪別人，因為她的生活就是這樣。她越能看到這一點，並在會議中表達出來，她就越發現它在她的生活中以微妙的方式發生了變化。有時她更清楚自己有多生氣和痛苦。但其他時候，她發現自己對人們感到更多的同情，她開始更多地與人交往，尤其是在工作中。
態度往往是複雜的行為模式，總是使別人犯錯，使持這種態度的人保持正確，並證明他們逃避責任是正當的。在基本態度上，也總是自我防禦的，並且建立在一個人無法傳達的資訊之上。這幾乎總是發生在生命的早期，資訊可能是給父母或主要照顧者的。
投資 這個人需要充分欣賞他們在保持態度方面的投資
，也就是說，這種態度如何在生活中為他們服務。態度總是讓別人錯，讓人對。當然，現實與我們想像的非常不同，當我們被鎖定在表演一種態度時。當我們從某種態度行事時，我們覺得完全有理由這樣做，而且很難看出我們是這樣做的人。態度是受害者狀態s.14
布倫達：一旦我做了一段時間，我開始發現我四處走動的“別人不理解我”的態度並不是真的讓別人不理解我。我實際上是用它來繼續看到其他人是錯誤的。我開始看到我設置了人們不讓我。我不能很好地解釋自己，然後我責怪他們不理解。但實際上，我已經做到了，我讓任何人，除了千里眼，幾乎不可能理解我的意思。但只要我四處走動，認為人們不理解我，那麼我就可以認為他們錯了，我基本上沒問題，這都是他們的錯。關鍵點是，我不必對我的人際關係負責，因為他們是搞砸它的人。
當然，保持一種態度實際上並不能阻止任何人犯錯，但它似乎確實如此。如果客戶在態度上根本看不到自己的代理權，那麼現在進行態度清理可能還為時過早。無論如何，一旦有人盡其所能查看他們如何使用它，就該進行最後一步了。
在這一點上，這個人通常有可能開始看到一些態度是錯誤解決方案的東西。這個人採取這種態度是因為他們試圖向某人傳達一些關於他們自己的事情。這永遠行不通;如果是這樣，這個人就不需要這種態度，它就不再是。固定態度的本質是它不起作用，這就是為什麼它是固定的。
信息在
頭腦清晰中，我們問：“你試圖通過這種態度來告訴別人關於你自己的什麼？人們唯一想與他人交流的資訊是關於他們自己的。他們認為有人未能理解他們。這不是那個人;這是他的態度。人是在別處，就概念上的分離而不是空間上的分離而言。這個人實際上是，如果你想找到他，通常定位在態度上。但這是一種概念上的分離。換句話說，當你有一個個性時，這個個性就在
你所處的
位置，但它不是你......這允許積累所有關於你和其他人對你的不完整溝通，因為你通過一種特定的態度接收它們。15
可能需要一些工作才能得到資訊，指令可能必須改變或解釋，但最終這個人會想出一些東西。
重要的是找到所謂的反應性消息。很多時候，人們會想出很多資訊。有些會比其他的更相關並且很有意義，但它們沒有很大的衝擊力。這就是為什麼所有這些步驟都在這裡的部分原因 - 説明一個人通過態度工作到一個足夠清晰的點，並且有足夠的空間來了解反應性信息是什麼。這也是為什麼態度清除通常只有在一個人已經提高自己時才會進行。
他們所處的態度或狀態具有真正的能量力量。這不僅僅是一個想法;它具有表現在行為和人的存在方式中的實質。它是整個綜合症的表面。當我們在尋找綜合症的認知元素時，當找到保持行為的確切資訊時，它會與具有影響和電荷的整個能量結構聯繫起來。我們期待的正是這一資訊。態度和資訊之間的聯繫需要被識別，並將與態度或狀態產生共鳴。找到該消息后，是時候轉到步驟 4 了。
布倫達（Brenda）在經歷了她“我不夠”的態度之後，終於到達了一個地方，她從“我”中解脫出來，足以看到周圍的環境。這一點，加上她在這個過程中的洞察力，讓她看到了她是如何用它來控制人們的。她可以看到她的投資是為了保持它。當她審視自己在“我不夠”狀態時的生活時，她越來越多地發現她想說的主要是針對她的母親。這是一種本能;當她覺得自己有態度並試圖表達她真正想說的話時，她只是
發現母親的形象越來越強烈地進入她的思想，以及一種無法表達自己的痛苦和沮喪感。
雖然她在生活中更廣泛地使用這種態度，但歸根結底，她的母親特別認為她不夠。在她的Clearer的説明下，她開始尋找這種態度所傳達的資訊。這需要做很多工作，因為它已經被習慣性行為覆蓋了近50年。但她最終開始想出一些她能夠在會議中表達的資訊。其中包括“你不愛我”，“我恨你”和“你從來沒有給我足夠的關注”。Clearer寫下了這些，他們進入了過程的最後階段。
第 4 步：傳遞資訊 下一步是採取這個人試圖通過態度告訴別人關於自己的資訊
，並讓他們大聲地直接傳達給其他人。這個人可能知道它是針對特定的其他人，例如他們的父母，但它可能是針對所有其他人的。
例如，「我很特別」的態度可能是生活中被表現出來的，但這個人真正在說的是，「我恨你，遠離我，你並不特別，你什麼都不是」，但他們通過這種態度“交流”它，因為他們認為如果他們堅持下去，人們會以某種方式意識到他們是多麼錯誤， 這個人有多正確，這個人有多恨他們。令人震驚的是，面對在傳達資訊方面一再失敗，我們如何保持這些態度。我們在正確的道路上投入了大量資金，以至於我們無論如何都會繼續前進。
即使在做了所有這些工作以瞭解資訊是什麼之後，這個人可能不會停止表現出試圖傳達它的態度。他們可能會在這件事上有更多的選擇，而不是把它戲劇化那麼多 bu仍然由它操作。這就是他們一生都在努力實現它的方式。他們沒有其他方式。他們無法真正想像另一種方式，所以他們現在幾乎不會停下來，即使他們知道他們所知道的關於他們如何對自己這樣做並且它不起作用的所有資訊
。我們必須比態度的360°視圖更進一步。下一步是更好地進行溝通。
問題是我已經在自己身上做了很多工作。我接受過多年的治療，做過小組工作和冥想，我知道我為什麼做事以及如何做。這實際上是非常令人沮喪的，因為所有這些理解都沒有真正的説明。這對我有一點説明，但我仍然想表演出來，而且非常令人沮喪，以至於很多東西仍然存在。Mind Clear在從事這些事情這麼多年之後，讓我大開眼界。首先，我想也許我們只是要再次做同樣的舊事。我的Clearer問我關於我自己的情況，我告訴了她，就像，『我們再來一次。但我們沒有。我以前做過一些事情，但這次它走得更遠。她一直和我一起工作，直到我明白了一些我以前從未理解過的東西，也就是說，我意識到我在說什麼，所有這些表演，或者想要表演。她也幫我把它弄明白了。當我剛剛說完這句話時，她並沒有停下來;她讓我真正說出來。起初我覺得很傻，這似乎是某種角色扮演，但到最後我站起來大聲喊出來，我無法停止。我說了一遍又一遍。把它從我的系統中取出感覺真好。它來自我以前從未認識的地方，淚水從我的臉上流下來，鼻涕從我的鼻子裡流出來，我不在乎。這些話感覺就像是從我的肚臍里說出來的，在這股發自肺腑的洪流中直接從我的嘴裡說出來。當它完成時，它就完成了。這是不同的。就像我以前從未做過的一樣。這不是一種洞察力，儘管我在做這件事時有洞察力，而且它不是知識份子的。這隻是一種解脫和真相，世界停止轉動，我以前所未有的方式在這裡。我變了一個人。 此人可能需要説明才能直接傳達資訊。
他們一生都在試圖間接地傳達它。這個信息已經埋藏在潛意識中多年了。他們甚至不知道那是什麼。至關重要的是，更清晰
者自己
理解資訊;否則，他們可能會成為另一個沒有得到它的人。
它是反應性消息，必須與隨之而來的反應性資訊一起傳遞。這並不是說它一定會是一個巨大的情緒爆發。可能是，但可能是安靜的。無論如何，它必須是真實和完整的，並帶有態度的指控和溝通，但這一次它將直接傳遞，沒有扭曲。
人們在嘗試查明確切資訊時首先想到的可能與主要信息有關，就像上面布倫達的例子一樣。確切的資訊可能被埋藏在必須剝離的想法層層之下。看看他們在保持態度方面有什麼投資 gOING將幫助他們找到消息。投資和資訊是緊密相連的。在某種程度上，它們是一回事。
早些時候，在第2步中，思考態度，有人說人沒有必要進入態度或狀態，而只是為了了解他們處於態度或狀態的想法。然而，在這裡，情況有所不同。反應性資訊，原始資訊，與頭腦的東西，頭腦的能量東西精確地連接在一起：
很多時候，它指向漩渦的中心，在那裡，狀態的意義，思想的內容，意義，與......心智...你將不得不得到一個情感表達伴隨著它......這就是反應性資訊所在的地方，就在他們被識別最多的接觸點。16
當資訊與心靈的能量結構相遇，
當反應性資訊直接傳遞給另一個接收它的活生生的人時，就會釋放出來，那麼頭腦中那個層次的一切就會放手。與這種特定態度的聯繫網路只是放開了，那裡有空間，還有解脫。這是獲取反應消息的副產品。
圖7.1 信息與心靈
能量結構相遇的點 在潛在態度受到打擊之前，可能需要幾輪思考對立面並找到資訊。但是，當它被個人直接溝通的全部力量擊中和傳遞時，它與任何其他資訊都大不相同。
布倫達確定了許多不同的資訊。其他人也在那裡，但這些資訊主要是針對她的母親的。她被鼓勵把這些資訊傳達給她的母親，就好像她在房間里一樣，可以收到通信，即使她的母親已經去世好幾年了。她盡其所能地做到了這一點，在這個過程中有一些緩解。她能感覺到一些憤怒和苦澀從她身上流出。但她和她的Clearer討論了這個問題，並同意缺少一些東西。她的溝通是正確的，但缺乏反應性信息的影響力。因此，他們一起探索這種態度的真正含義。Clearer問了布倫達一些問題，比如，“你母親沒有得到什麼？”，“她不知道你什麼？”，“你沒有對她說什麼？”他們這樣工作了一段時間。
儘管布倫達覺得很難，但她越來越覺得正確傳達資訊的重要性，並開始對她說的話越來越挑剔。每次她表達的信息有點不同時，她都能以1-10的現實和準確性評分。最後，她平靜地說：“不要離開我。起初看起來並不多，Clearer幾乎錯過了它，因為它幾乎是耳語，布倫達似乎傾向於認為它很愚蠢;
她說這話的時候笑了一下。但是它有一個不同的戒指，所以清除者問h再重複一遍，這次聲音更大。“不要離開我！”聽起來又不一樣了，真實。所以，她又被要求重複一遍，這次更大，「不要離開我！她每說一句話，聲音都越清晰越響亮，她坐直了身子，神色也更清晰了，彷彿霧散了。最後，通常用低沉而安靜的聲音說話的布倫達開始向她的母親尖叫，“不要離開我！”，哭泣。她就在那裡，在溝通的背後，感受著它的真實性以及它的重要性。清澈者完全收到了通訊，這一次與所有其他時間說資訊不同，他們都知道。布倫達的整個存在發生了一些變化。她卸下了她一生中大部分時間背負的負擔。
這個人通常不會在第一時間收到整個資訊，或者他們可能無法完全傳達它。當反應性資訊在那個時候盡其所能傳遞時，清除者必須進入最後階段，並詢問這個人是否認為他們會繼續使用它：“你認為你還會用這種態度告訴人們”我恨你“，”我愛你“或其他什麼資訊嗎？
如果這個人對他們是否會繼續使用這種態度來傳達特定資訊有任何疑問，那麼它還沒有消失，Clearer 將返回第 2 步並從那裡再次繼續。態度可能已經改變了一點。他們本可以去掉一層，然後以更深層次的態度工作可能是合適的。
如果在回應第4步時，這個人完全清楚他們將不再使用這種態度來傳達信息，他們可以繼續以另一種態度工作。即使他們確定他們不會使用它，它可能仍然存在一點。要麼這個人沒有完全傳達它，要麼它不是完全正確的資訊。時間就是對此的考驗。但是，如果反應性資訊在當下完全傳遞，那麼態度就會被吹出水面，不會回來。
評論
伯納意識到，未經溝通的交流是保持思想運轉的原因，他說：“
我自己也見過很多次，也經歷過很多次。正是我的經歷讓我意識到，存在是什麼，就是那種未經交流的交流。17
正是那些我們沒有直接交流的東西，才成為思想，使我們以特定的方式思考世界。
如果你找到了正確的目標，正確的障礙或態度，並且是這個人有興趣努力的方向，那麼如果他自己繼續得到這種態度，他自己自由選擇，直到他真正有一個主觀的，直接的，有意識的體驗，事實上， 選擇者，在態度的形成中;如果你發現了他試圖傳達給其他人的資訊;如果你提高他直接傳達資訊的能力，這樣他就不再需要這種間接方法，那麼這個人就不會再選擇這種態度了。他將不再被固定在其中或受制於它。他的生活將不再受它指導，也不會干涉e 與他一起實現他的目標。心靈的那部分已經被清除，不再是他和其他人之間的障礙。這就是清理的意思：消除自己和他人之間的障礙。18
要找到某種特定態度的根源，可能需要好幾輪，但一旦處理了，它就會消失。隨之而來的是懸浮在頭腦中的所有經驗部分，由於這種特殊的態度而被抵制。根據所處理的態度的規模，該人在生活的各個方面和思維方式中都會感到自由。這些地方將不再有反應和抵抗。
心有不同層次的，如果一個人能夠將自己的態度直接處理到內心的核心，那麼心中就不會再有麻煩了。它將不再是與個人分開
的東西。個人會有想法和思考，但這些過程將通過選擇而不是自動完成。
這似乎很容易，不需要一個很長的技巧來讓人們從自己說話，說出他們在生活中沒有說過的話。可以認為，可以鼓勵人們繼續說出一切。但經驗表明，大多數人都做不到這一點。唯一能幫助我們大多數人的就是在關係方面做得更好，可衡量的和明顯的。為此，清算溝通週期是有效的。交談可能是偶然的，但開始有意識地完成這些步驟會讓機會從等式中脫穎而出，並使説明更有可能和可複製。這需要技巧和應用，但可以做到。它要求更清晰的人也改善他們與面前的人的關係。通過這種方式，這項工作是一種合作，因為 Clearer 必須真正參與其中。
這個人或多或少已經放棄了在生活中真正想說的話。我們可以肯定這一點。這就是為什麼他們使用帶有扭曲行為的態度來交流。所以他們不會說出他們真正想說的話，除非先改善與他人的關係。這不是坐下來，經歷詢問和傾聽的動作。這是實際的改進。
這就是説明：清晰者必須決定幫助這個人更好地建立關係，要做到這一點，他們必須更好地與那個人建立聯繫。
帕坦伽利描述了我們可以訓練心的方法，並通過練習逐漸減少記憶和態度的影響，最終消除心。也許他在第一卷中提到的反記憶類似於態度清除的效果。19 無論如何，他支持這樣一種觀點，即追溯我們的態度和記憶是最終處理它們的方法。20
在帕坦伽利的體系中，僅僅揭示自己當前執著或厭惡的歷史起源是不夠的。一個人必須以微妙的形式放棄痛苦的根源（這是過去的經驗）。21
Step 3: identifying the message, or the medium is the message12
The mind is a series of problems and false solutions, a series of communication difficulties, relating difficulties, understanding difficulties, in which the person has come up with substitute methods of trying to get something across to others.13
Every attitude is an indirect communication. When a person is unable to get across what they wish to communicate, they will eventually give up trying to get it across directly and take up an attitude as a substitute for direct communication. That attitude and the behaviours associated with it is the communication, but it has become distorted.
Attitudes become fixed when they become indirect and, by definition, dysfunctional attempts to communicate. Because they do not work as communication, they get caught in loops and, usually, increasingly fixed.
As a child, Zoe saw her parents arguing and was frightened. What she wanted to say was, ‘I don’t like this, I don’t want to feel alone like this,’ and she might have tried to say this. But her parents did not get it or she certainly felt they did not get it. Maybe they were too involved in what they were doing and she was afraid of giving the message because she thought they might not love her if she did. One way or another, the message never got delivered and remained hanging in the space between them.
We never stop trying to get the message across at a subconscious level. It is in the very nature of a communication that it must be communicated, and until that is fulfilled, the message will keep on knocking at the door. But in this case, verbalising it did not work, so Zoe decided, subconsciously, to get it across in another way. In this case, she turned the communication into withdrawing her love from her parents whenever it looked like they were disgruntled. In later life she did the same thing with other people when they seemed angry. She had the story going on that ‘If I withdraw, they’ll notice that I don’t want to be left on my own.’
From this point on she mostly stopped trying to verbalise the message and the medium became the message; it became the behaviour of withdrawal when anything triggered the relevant memory for her. Subconsciously she used her withdrawal to get her message across, and this behaviour became part of her personality.
At a subconscious level we are communicating our messages loud and clear, but people on the whole do not get these messages because the messages are indirect. Also, we are invested in people being wrong so, in a sense, we do not want them to get the message because we have gone victim with it. To keep others in the wrong, we have to keep reviving the idea of ourselves as the victim of their non-understanding.
The purpose of going through these steps is to unpack the attitude to the point where that message is uncovered and delivered so that it no longer serves to distract the person from the present. Some people may be able to identify the message without all this work, but most people need to take steps towards it and de-identify from the attitude to see it clearly enough to see what the message is. The Clearer will probably need to help them get a 360° picture of how they are using the attitude as part of this process of understanding.
The realisation that they are actually originating the attitude themselves is a major step. But intellectual understanding is not enough. The person might be able to see that they are not only creating an attitude by their own choice, such as ‘people are bad’, but that they are keeping themselves in it and hurting themselves and others with it. They are going victim and mistreating others from that state. This knowledge alone probably will not shift the attitude.
Brenda, with her attitude of ‘I’m not enough’, was manipulating others from that attitude. Going around in ‘I’m not enough’ affected her behaviour enormously. She had a habit of putting herself down through different mechanisms. For example, she did not pursue promotions and yet became resentful when others were promoted over her, despite the fact that they had actively worked for the advancement and she had not only not worked for it, but tended to underplay and sabotage
her own contributions. She also used it to avoid taking responsibility for a lot of relationship interaction in her life. In her story about herself, if she was not enough, then she could not be criticised. This was because she had already judged herself to be not enough. Any criticism of her behaviour could be countered by her saying, or thinking, ‘I told you I wasn’t enough, so what do you expect if I don’t live up to your expectations?’ From within her attitude of ‘not enough’ she could treat people with disregard, forget to call them or not think to tell them some important thing. But if they complained, she had already warned them, so in her mind it was not her fault. Further still, it was actually their fault in her narrative because they should have known what she was like. As Brenda worked more and more on this attitude of ‘I’m not enough’, she discovered how she was using it to blame others for her life being the way it was. And the more she was able to see this and express it in sessions, the more she found it changing in subtle ways in her life. Sometimes she felt much more aware of just how angry and bitter she was. But other times she found herself feeling greater sympathy with people and she started to socialise with people more, particularly at work.
Attitudes are often complex patterns of behaviour that always set others up to be wrong, keep the person with the attitude in the right and justify their avoidance of responsibility. At base attitudes are also, always, self-defensive and founded on a message the person did not manage to get across. This almost always happens early in life and the message is probably to a parent or primary carer.
THE INVESTMENT
The person needs to fully appreciate the investment they have in maintaining the attitude, that is, how the attitude is serving them in life. Attitudes are always a way of keeping others wrong and the person right. The reality is, of course, very different from what we imagine is going on when we are locked into acting out an attitude. When we are acting from an attitude we feel perfectly justified in behaving as we do and it is difficult to see that we are the ones doing it. Attitudes are victim states.14
Brenda: Once I’d worked on it for a while, I started to see that the attitude of ‘others don’t understand me’ that I go around in isn’t really about other people not getting me. I’m actually using it to keep seeing other people as being in the wrong. I begin to see that I set people up to not get me. I don’t explain myself very well and then I blame them for not understanding. But really, I’ve done it, I’ve made it virtually impossible for anyone, except a clairvoyant, to understand what I meant. But as long as I went around doing this, and thinking people didn’t understand me, then I could think they were wrong and I was fundamentally OK and it was all their fault. The crunch point to this is that I don’t have to take responsibility for my relationships because they are the ones messing it up.
Of course, being in an attitude does not actually keep anyone from being wrong, but it appears to do so. If a client cannot see their own agency at all in having an attitude, then it is probably too early to be doing attitude clearing. In any event, once someone has done all they can to see how they are using it, it is time to go on to the last step.
At this point, it is often possible for the person to begin to see some of that for which the attitude is a false solution. The person took on the attitude because they were trying to communicate something to someone about themselves. That never works; if it did, the person would not need the attitude and it would cease to be. The nature of a fixed attitude is that it does not work, and that is why it is fixed.
THE MESSAGE
In Mind Clearing we ask: “What is it you are trying to tell others about yourself by going around in this attitude?” The only messages people ever have that they want to communicate to others is about themselves. There is something they believe someone failed to understand about them. This isn’t the person; this is his attitude. The person is elsewhere, in terms of conceptual separation rather than spatial separation. The person is actually, if you want to locate him, usually located right with the attitude. But it is a conceptual separation. In other words, when you have a personality, the personality is right
where you are but it isn’t you… This allows the accumulation of all the incomplete communications that are being made about you to other people and about other people to you, because you are receiving them through a particular attitude.15
It might take some work to get the message, and the instruction might have to be changed or explained, but eventually the person will come up with something.
The important thing is to find what is called the reactive message. Very often people come up with lots of messages. Some will be more relevant than others and make good sense, but they do not have a great deal of punch. That is partly why all these steps are in here – to help a person work through the attitude to a point where they are clear enough, and have enough space around it, to see what the reactive message is. It is also why attitude clearing is usually only done when a person has already improved at getting themselves across.
The attitude or state they are going around in has real energetic power. It is not just an idea; it has substance manifesting in behaviour and the person’s way of being. It is the surface of a whole syndrome. While we are looking for the cognitive element of the syndrome, when the exact message is found that is keeping the behaviour going, it connects with that whole energetic structure that has impact and charge. It is that message for which we are looking. The connection between the attitude and the message needs to be identified and will resonate with the attitude or state. When that message is found, it is time to move on to step 4.
Brenda, having worked through her attitude of ‘I’m not enough’, finally got to a place where she de-identified from the ‘I’ enough to see around it. This, together with insights she had during the process, resulted in her seeing how she had been using it to control people. She could see what her investment was in keeping it going. As she examined how she went about in life when she was in the ‘I’m not enough state’, which was much of the time, she increasingly saw that what she wanted to say about it was directed mostly to her mother. This was an instinct; when she felt that she had the attitude and tried to express what she really wanted to say, she simply
found an image of her mother coming more and more strongly into her thoughts and a feeling of distress and frustration around not getting herself across.
While she used the attitude much more broadly in life, it came down to feeling that her mother in particular thought she was not enough as she was. With the help of her Clearer, she set out to look for the message this attitude was expressing. This took a lot of work as it had been covered over by habitual behaviours for almost 50 years. But she eventually began to come up with a number of messages she was then able to express in the session. These included ‘You don’t love me,’ ‘I hate you’ and ‘You never gave me enough attention.’ The Clearer wrote these down and they went to the final stage of the process.
Step 4: delivering the message
The next step is to take what the person is trying to tell others about themselves by being in the attitude, and get them to communicate it, out loud, directly to those others. The person might know that it is intended for particular others, such as their parents, but it might be aimed at all others.
For instance, the attitude ‘I’m special’ may be the one being acted out in life, but what the person is really saying is, ‘I hate you, get away from me, you’re not special, you’re nothing,’ but they are ‘communicating’ it through this attitude because they think if they keep it up, people will realise, somehow, how wrong they are, how right the person is and how much the person hates them. It is quite shocking how we keep these attitudes going in the face of repeated failures in getting the message across. We are so heavily invested in being right that we carry on regardless.
Even after doing all this work to know what the message is, the person will probably not stop acting out the attitude to try to get it across. They will probably have a bit more choice in the matter and not dramatise it quite so much but still be operated by it. That is the way they have been trying to get it across all their lives. They do not have another way to be. They cannot really imagine another way to be, so they are hardly going to stop now, even knowing all they know about
how they are doing this to themselves and that it does not work. We have to go further than the 360° view of the attitude. The next step is getting better at getting the communication across.
The thing is that I’ve done loads of work on myself. I’ve had years of therapy and done group work and meditation and I know why I do things and how I do them. It’s actually been hugely frustrating because all that understanding doesn’t really help. It helps me a bit, but I still feel like acting out and it’s so depressing that so much of that stuff is still there. Mind Clearing was an eye- opener after all those years of working at these things. To start with, I thought maybe we were just going to do the same old thing again. My Clearer asked me about myself and I told her, and it was like, ‘Here we go again.’ But we didn’t. There were bits of what I’d done before, but this time it went further. She kept on working with me until I understood something I’d never understood before, that is, I realised what I was saying with all this acting out, or wanting to act out. And she helped me get it across as well. She didn’t stop when I’d just said it; she got me to really say it. I felt silly at first, it seemed like some kind of role play, but by the end I was standing up and shouting it out and I couldn’t stop. I said it over and over. It felt so good to get it out of my system. It was coming from somewhere I’d never known before and tears were running down my face and snot running out of my nose and I didn’t care. The words felt like they were coming from my navel and straight up out of my mouth in this visceral torrent. And when it was done, it was done. It was different. Like nothing I’d ever done before. It wasn’t an insight, although I had insights when I was doing it, and it wasn’t intellectual. It was just a relief and the truth, and the world stopped turning and I was here like never before. I’m a changed man.
The person will probably need help to communicate the message directly. They have spent their whole life trying to get it across indirectly. The message has been buried in the subconscious for years. They did not even know what it was. It is essential that the Clearer
understand the message themselves; otherwise, they could just become yet another person who did not get it.
It is the reactive message that must be delivered together with that reactivity that is being carried with it. That is not to say it will necessarily be a huge emotional blowout. It might be, but it might be quiet. It must, in any case, be real and full and carry the charge and communication of the attitude, but this time it will be delivered direct, with no distortion.
The first things people come up with in trying to pinpoint the exact message will probably be connected to the main message, like Brenda’s example above. The exact message is probably buried under layers of ideas that will have to be peeled back. Seeing what investment they have in keeping the attitude going will help them find the message. The investment and message are intimately connected. In a way they are the same thing.
Earlier, in step 2, pondering the attitudes, it was said that it is not necessary for the person to go into the attitude or state but just to get the idea of them being in the attitude or state. Here, however, it is different. The reactive message, the original message, connects precisely with the mind stuff, the energetic stuff of the mind:
very often that point at the center of the whirlpool, where the meaning of the state, the idea content, the significance, is joined with…the mindstuff…you’re going to have to get an emotional expression along with it… That’s where the reactive message is, right at that touch point where they are identified the most.16
When the message meets the energetic structure of the mind, and is released when the reactive message is delivered directly to another live human being who receives it, then everything at that level of the mind lets go. The web of connections to that particular attitude just lets go and there is space where that was, and relief. This is a by-product of getting the reactive message.
Figure 7.1 The point where the message meets the energetic structure of the mind
It might take several rounds of pondering the opposites and finding the message before the underlying attitude is hit. But when it is hit and delivered with the full force of direct communication from the individual, it is quite different from any other message.
Brenda identified a number of different messages. Other people were in there too, but the messages were primarily directed at her mother. She was encouraged to get those messages across to her mother as if she were in the room and could receive the communication, even though her mother had been dead for some years. She did this as well as she could and there was some relief in the process. She could feel some of the anger and bitterness draining out of her. But she and her Clearer discussed it and agreed that something was missing. Her communications were in the right ballpark but lacked the impact of the reactive message. So they worked together to explore what the attitude was really saying. The Clearer asked questions of Brenda, such as, ‘What is it about you that your mother doesn’t get?’, ‘What doesn’t she know about you?’, ‘What have you not been saying to her?’ and they worked on like this for some time.
Although Brenda found it hard going, she increasingly felt the importance of getting the message just right and began to be more and more discerning about what she said. Every time she expressed the message a bit differently, she was able to score it on a scale of 1–10 of reality and accuracy. Then, finally, she said quietly, ‘Don’t leave me.’ It didn’t seem like much at first and the Clearer almost missed it because it was almost whispered, and Brenda seemed inclined to dismiss it as silly; she’d
laughed a bit as she said it. But it had a different ring to it, so the Clearer asked her to repeat it, louder this time. ‘Don’t leave me!’ It sounded different again, real. So again, she was asked to repeat it, bigger this time, ‘DON’T LEAVE ME!’ Every time she said the words, they were clearer and louder and she sat up straighter and looked clearer, as though fog was clearing. Finally, Brenda, who typically spoke in a low, quiet voice, started screaming it to her mother, ‘DON’T LEAVE ME!’, weeping. She was right there, behind the communication, feeling the truth of it and how much it mattered. The Clearer completely received the communication and this time it was different from all the other times of saying the message, and they both knew it. Something shifted in the whole of Brenda’s being. She was relieved of a burden she had been carrying most of her life.
The person often does not get the whole message first time, or they may not deliver it fully. When the reactive message is delivered to the best of their ability at that time, the Clearer must then go on to the final stage and ask whether the person thinks they will continue to use it: ‘Do you think you will still use this attitude to tell people “I hate you”, “I love you” or whatever the message is?’
If there is any doubt in the person’s mind about whether they will continue to use that attitude to get that particular message across, then it has not gone and the Clearer will return to step 2 and continue again from there. The attitude might have changed a bit. They could have taken a layer off it and it might then be appropriate to work on an attitude that is deeper.
If, in response to step 4, the person is completely clear that they will no longer use that attitude to get the message across, they can move on to work on another attitude. Even if they are sure they will not use it, it may still be there a bit. Either the person has not fully delivered it or it is not quite the right message. Time is the test of this. But if the reactive message is fully delivered in the moment, then the attitude will be blown out of the water and not come back.
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Berner realised that the uncommunicated communication is what keeps the mind going, and he said:
I have seen this many times and experienced it many times myself. It was my experience of that that made me realize that what existence is, is that uncommunicated communication.17
It is the stuff we have not directly communicated that becomes the mind and keeps us thinking of the world in a particular way.
If you’ve found the right goal, the right barrier or attitude that was in the way, and it is the one the person is interested in working on, then if he keeps getting the attitude himself, of his own free choice until he really does have a subjective, direct, conscious experience that he is, in fact, the choice-maker, in the attitude’s formation; and if you’ve found the message that he’s trying to get across to other people; and if you improve his ability to get that message across directly so that he doesn’t need this indirect method any longer, then the person will no longer choose to have this attitude. He will no longer be fixed in it or subject to it. His life will no longer be directed by it, nor will it interfere with him accomplishing his goals. That part of the mind has been cleared away and is no longer a barrier between him and others. That’s what clearing means: to remove the barriers between oneself and others.18
It will probably take a number of rounds to get to the root of a particular attitude, but once it has been dealt with, it vanishes. With it go all the parts of experiences that were suspended in the mind, resisted because of that particular attitude. Depending on the scale of the attitude that has been dealt with, the person will feel free in all sorts of areas of their lives and ways of thinking. There will no longer be reactivity and resistance in those places.
There are different levels of the mind, and if a person can deal with their attitudes right to the inner core, then there will be no more trouble from the mind at all. It will no longer be a separate thing from
the individual. The individual will have ideas and think, but those processes will be done by choice and not automaticity.
It might seem that this should be easy, that a long technique for getting people to speak from themselves and say what they have not said in life is not needed. It might be supposed that people can just be encouraged to go ahead and say it all. But experience suggests that most people cannot do that. The only thing that will help most of us is to actually get better at relating, measurably and demonstrably. And for this, the clearing communication cycle is what works. Talking can work by chance, but setting out to deliberately go through the steps takes chance out of the equation and makes help more likely and replicable. It takes skill and application, but it can be done. It requires the Clearer also to improve their relationship with the person in front of them. In this way, the work is a collaboration because the Clearer has to be genuinely involved.
The person has more or less given up on getting what they really want to say across in life. We can be sure of this. That is why they are using attitudes with distorted behaviours with which to communicate. So they will not say what they really want to say unless the relationship with other people is improved first. This is not sitting down and going through the motions of asking and listening. This is actual improvement.
That is what help is: the Clearer has to decide to help the person get better at relating, and to do that, they have to get better at relating to that person.
Patanjali describes ways in which we can discipline the mind and gradually reduce the influence of memories and attitudes through practice, and finally cancel the mind out. Perhaps the anti-memories he alludes to in Book I are something like the effect of attitude clearing.19 In any case, he supports the view that tracing our attitudes and memories back to their source is the way to deal with them conclusively.20
In Patanjali’s system, it is not sufficient for one to uncover the historical genesis of one’s current attachment or aversion. One must abandon the root of suffering (which is the past experience) in its subtle form.21
Once this is done, because of the nature of subtle forms as universal, all instances of aversion or attachment to that aspect of experience will go. The past events held in the mind will no longer be used to maintain attachment or aversion, forcing and attitudes.22
I came to my final Clearing intensive having had many sessions over the years. They had made a big difference in how I lived my life, so I knew the method worked. Yet a major problem remained: I sometimes got a pain in my throat so overwhelming that I couldn’t speak or even breathe easily.
It happened when I had something difficult to say, and the only way through it was to break down and cry uncontrollably. Thereafter, if the person I wanted to speak to had stuck around, I could say what I wanted to say. Oddly, it also happened when people got together to sing. It could be a hymn, a choral society at a concert, or a knees-up in the pub; something about people putting aside their differences to join in song made me want to seize up: their faces were so beautiful. Again, weeping without restraint was the only thing that lifted the pain in my throat – which usually meant retiring to the bathroom and missing the best bits. So I’d booked this one last intensive over a long weekend to address it.
My Clearer was a down-to-earth woman, very practical with years of experience. We had worked well together previously so I trusted her abilities. She started by inviting me to focus on the pain in my throat, so I closed my eyes and did my best to relax and recall a time when it had happened.
I seemed to fall into a black hole and gradually found myself remembering what had happened when I was 16. I’d woken early in the morning with a stabbing pain in my abdomen, a pain that rose with every breath until I wept. My mother came into my bedroom to find out why I hadn’t got up. She was smartly dressed, ready for work, in a hurry. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked, frowning. I tried to tell her about the pain but was incoherent. ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake,’ she said. ‘You have an exam today. You’re trying to get out of it. That won’t work with me. Get up and get going.’
Then she was gone, leaving me alone with the pain. I cried, moaned and vomited, unable to stand, before it lifted after about 6 hours. Then, I felt so drained and weak that I went back to bed. My mother was furious when she came home and found I’d failed to sit the exam. But I said nothing.
When I finished telling my Clearer this, she asked me to say aloud to my mother, as if she were present, what I couldn’t say at the time. But I still couldn’t; the pain in my throat stopped me – even after a bout of crying which normally released it. So now she asked me what attitude I was stuck in, in believing I couldn’t speak. I found it boiled down to ‘I have no voice.’ Next, she got me to find the opposite of that attitude and, out of several possibilities, I settled for ‘I’m free.’
But I was still so stuck in my voiceless state that I couldn’t even get the idea ‘I’m free.’ So now my Clearer got me to describe the pain incident from beginning to end, again and again. But still it gripped me. Only when she asked me to speak to my father as if present did it begin to slacken, for my father had been crucially involved at the time and speaking to him brought back the rest of what had happened.
I remembered how the pain had come on, worse than ever, just as I was starting my university entrance exam. My best friend phoned my mother and asked her to come, but she was at work and refused. So my friend took me home. After hours of agony, I managed to get into the bath. Soon, I felt a kind of ‘pop’ in my abdomen. The pain stopped. I wept with relief. But I still missed my exams, sitting in the garden feeling weaker every day. On the tenth day, my father came home from work and found me unable to stand. He carried me to the car and took me to a doctor. Peritonitis had set in from a ruptured appendix; I was in hospital for the next 6 weeks.
Now that I’d told the full story, I was able to work on ‘I have no voice’, following my Clearer’s instructions to go back and forth, back and forth – first getting the idea ‘I have no voice’ and then getting the idea ‘I’m free’, until I could identify with either attitude freely, simply as a mental exercise. Now my Clearer again asked me to say to my mother what I’d been unable to say when I was 16.
I closed my eyes. And my mother seemed to be floating in front of me, her face a mask of fear and anxiety. We seemed to be in space surrounded by stars. I saw her as trapped inside a structure – a sort of cage with bars
– slowly spinning, lost and alone. I saw myself as a small child inside the cage with her as she tried to keep me safe and close to her. Then I saw myself as a grown woman, slipping out of the cage, leaving her alone. My heart broke and my voice returned – without pain or tears. I was free. ‘Love me as I am,’ I said. ‘The way I love you.’
The pain in my throat has never returned.
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